Paradox
by Insanity's Partner
Summary: We were nothing more than a paradox. It was as if Life, Death and Fate were trying to keep us from ever being together, and pushing us at each other at the same time. BxE AU 1674
1. Common

5/7/07:

Okay, so first, I changed the Title and Summary. This used to be known as The Gown.

The plot is still the same. The original plot was that they were in 1670's. He's a Duke, she's a commoner.

But as I wrote out the plot line, I found it easier to just keep the new plot, and change the name of the story and summary. I found that it made a BAD au story that was supposed to be filled with drama, scandal, and symbolism, but made a good... whatever it is now.

Now, they're still in the 1670's, it just isn't as centered around the whole duke/commoner scandal thing.

For those who don't know, a Paradox is:

1) A statement, proposition, or situation that seems to be absurd or contradictory, but in fact is or may be true. (Or in other words, something that sounds crazy, but it's true, or could be true. Like my little brother actually being smart.)

2) A statement or proposition that contradicts itself. (Like an Oxymoron. Ie. Real Live Ghost. Jumbo shrimp. Military intelligence, ect.)

3) Something contrary to popular belief: something that is contrary to or conflicts with conventional or common opinion. (Like people who talk themselves. Contrary to popular belief, they aren't crazy.)

I'm focusing on the fact that they together are physical opposites, and that it should be impossible for them to be together, but everytime fate pulls them apart, they get pushed back together by the same force.

The plot is going to get a little hectic. And to prevent confusion to myself, and those around me, I will not be writing in the style of Shakespeare.

I would have liked to, actually. I'm a fan of Shakespeare myself. I just hate that my friends have to rely on a a website that translates the text into modern english for them.

So, um... yeah.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Oh, wait. Here's a paradox: Contrary to popular belief -laughs hysterically- I don't actually own Twilight.

* * *

The Gown

_Chapter 1:_  
**Common**

"Walk straighter, Isabella; don't slouch, Isabella." I said, bitterly mimicking my mother's voice as I scrubbed the plates in the wash tub we had. "Isabella, how do you ever expect to earn a husband if you don't present yourself?"

_Humph_, I scoffed to myself. What if I didn't want a man? What if I just so happened to think all men were tenacious pigs?

"Isabella!" My mother shrieked from the other room. I rolled my eyes and gently laid down the plate I was washing and prepared for whatever she had waiting for me. She only used my full name when she is angry, or wants me to do something.

Based on her latest mood, I was fairly certain it was the first.

I slowly stood up from the stool in front of the wash tub in front of me, and walked slowly into the house, cringing when she yelled for me again, and walked a little faster.

"Isabella!" she yelled, louder, and I scurried into the front of the house, if you could call it that, where mother kept her shop. "Isabella," she hissed, once I'd finally arrived. "How many times must I yell your name before you decide to grace me with your presence?" I opened my mouth to retort, but she cut me off. "Fetch me Mrs. Livingston's dress from my workbench," she yelled, and then I noticed the elaborately dressed lady standing beside my mother. Definitely of royal status; what was she doing here? "Now!" she snapped, bringing me back from my reverie. I scurried upstairs, and spotted the gown lying neatly folded on her desk.

I grabbed it, turning to go down the stairs when I heard my mother speak. "You must excuse her," she told the woman. "She is a rather stupid child. Sometimes I wonder if there is anything good about her other than her lovely voice…" I tuned out. My own mother! Slandering her only daughter?

I had to resist the urge to rip the dress to shreds, but knew the punishment would be far too severe.

I rushed down the stairs, interrupting their conversation and handing my mother the dress.

My mother gave the woman a polite smile, and unfolded it, so she would be able to see it. The look on the woman's face slowly turned from excitement to disgust as she raked in the appearance of the dress. I had to fight back the urge to smile.

"You call this a dress?" she hissed, "It's absolutely revolting!"

"But, I-I-" My mother began to stutter, stunned. This obviously wasn't the reaction she'd been expecting.

"Get this out of my sight! If you think I'd pay for something as hideous as this, then you are sadly mistaken!" And with that, she turned and stormed from the shop, while I internally applauded her.

The look on my mother's face went from shock to absolute anger.

She threw the gown at me, whipping me slightly on my arm as she did so. "Dispose of this! If I ever see it again, you will be punished." And then she turned to go to her office to smash something, while I was internally grateful she didn't do something particularly rash, as she tended to in moments of anger.

I looked at the dress. It _was_ hideous. I was not surprised in the least by the woman's reaction. I was however, surprised my mother would make something this awful.

I sighed.

But it would look nice, maybe if I shortened the sleeves, and got rid of the poof at the shoulders and elbows. And maybe if I gave it a stitched bodice, to make it look more common, yet, give it a royal look at the same time. And maybe if I were to—

No, wait! What am I doing, entertaining such asinine ideas? If I were to be merely caught with the dress, I could be sent to jail. A commoner? Wearing a royal gown? Absolute stupidity.

I held it up, preparing to rip it apart… But I couldn't. In my mind, all I could see were visions of a beautiful gown…

It wouldn't be hard to steal some material from my mother… And sewing was (Though I made sure my mother couldn't tell,) one of my talents, if I tried hard enough.

I could do it. I could make an exceptionally beautiful dress out of this piece of… garbage.

* * *

I know, the first chapter is short, but most first chapters are… right? So what do you think? 

Oh, and Bella's mother in this story is by NO means Renee. Renee is NOT as tightly stiched as the BITCH I have portraying Bella's mother here. (And I think you'll be reading a lot of her in this story.)

The e-mail system is down, but that doesn't mean I can't still read and reply to all of your reviews… so don't let that stop you from reviewing!

Oh, and if you'd like to send me a PM, use the email I have on my profile. Thanks!


	2. News

Aw, frappers, you guys. We just missed our flight. So I'm sitting in the airport right now. Looks like the next flight is tomorrow at 12:55…am.

We're going to have to stay here overnight, looks like. Haha, I don't mind. My sister seems to, though. And my mom, obviously. Hm, my brother 'acts' like it. But I can tell he's glad he doesn't have to do his presentation tomorrow in class. I haven't the heart to tell him he still has to do it on Tuesday.

Oh, and I have a picture of the gown on my profile. The first time you click it, it will say 'Forbidden'. Ignore that. Just enter the URL again. That should do it, until I have time to re-upload the pic for you guys.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I had an awesome dream last night. I owned Twilight. And New Moon. And even the Unpublished Eclipse and Midnight Sun! And then I woke up. And I was all happy and everything. And I got on my laptop and started typing away at the keys being all 'Yeah, everything I type is worth gold... BECAUSE I OWN IT ALL!' And then I was like... 'Wait a minute...

AH MAN!'

* * *

_**The Gown**_

**Chapter 2**

_**Jasmine's News**_

_**BPOV:**_

_In, out, in, out. Done! _I bit the thread off with my teeth. There. That solved the size issue.

Now, I just have to fix those…sleeves…if you could call them that.

The poufs were absolutely hideous. I know detachable sleeves are the thing, but seriously! It's utterly hideous!

In my mind, the dress--now substantially smaller, but still hideous-- was transforming. The sleeves were expanding. Wider at the bottom. Connected to a squared neckline. The bodice would be tight…and stitched. And the dress had to flow… Much like a virgin's wedding dress.

Or maybe I should leave it unstitched?

Yes. That would do it. It would be magnificent. It would be beautiful. It would be mine.

Inside, though, my mind was raging a battle of wit vs. want.

_This is stupid. Very, very stupid! If you get caught you'll be thrown in jail!_

_I won't get caught. I'll be very careful. I know I will. I'm not that foolish._

I tuned out from the voices and took out the scissors from under my material. I stared at it for a moment, trying to decide mentally how much I need to make one sleeve.

I calculated it quickly, and sliced through the material.

_There, perfect._ I did the same again for the other sleeve.

_Right…now, sew it up_. I set the needle to work, in and out, in and out, before biting off the thread again, then stitching it to the bodice.

I admired my work. _Hm… The sleeves are missing something. Maybe if I were to add something on the inside… Give it some extra appeal. Yes, that would do._

"Isabella!" Someone screeched from down-stairs. Mother! _Oh no! Did she find out!?_

I heard footsteps on the stairs. _Oh no!_ I scrambled around, anxiously trying to hide the material before she opened the door and caught me in the act.

I quickly shoved it under the bed, just as the door opened.

"Bella!" Jasmine cried. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was only my friend.

I had few friends. True friends when you were poor were far and far in between. Jasmine was a true friend; a trouble making friend…but still a true one.

"Bella! You'll never believe it!" she cried, excited about something. "There's going to be a party in the castle! An all-hallows eve party!"

I stared at her suspiciously for a minute. How does she know…and why does she care?

"And, um… Why are you telling me this?" I asked, carefully.

"Because you, me, and Kat are going to be there!" she squealed, before clamping her hand over her mouth and looking out to the window, to make sure my mother was still outside, busy and unhearing.

The she smiled, and looked back at me, waiting for my response.

"Oh no," I repeated. "No, no, no. What if we get caught?" I asked.

"We won't get caught, you silly worry-wart." She smiled. "I promise."

I stared at her, disbelieving for a moment, but then thought about it. It would be fun… I suppose.

"Okay." I said, and she practically exploded into words. I tried my best to tune them out. Usually when she was in her babble mode, most of the things she spoke of were completely irrelevant. Anything useful could be recounted later.

I hadn't noticed when the gushing of words had stopped.

"Bella…?" she asked, and then leaned over to my bed, and snatched the gown from under my bed while I cried "No!"

But it was too late. She unfolded the dress, looking at it with awe. "Who made this?" she asked, dumbfounded.

I took in a shaky breath. "I did." I said; my voice breaking. I looked down, peeking up at her from beneath my curtains of hair.

She looked from me to the dress in shock. "No, you didn't. You can't sew!" she said. I took offence.

"I can, and I did. I made that dress." I said, standing up and snatching it from her hands. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't yell it to the high heavens… I'd rather not end up in jail, thanks."

Then her shock turned to horror. I flinched, internally slapping myself for opening my big mouth. If I'd hidden it then and there she probably would have forgotten about the 'illegal' factor.

"Bella…You can't have that dress! You could go to jail!" she hissed.

I hissed back with equal venom. "I know that! I'm being careful!"

"Yes, so careful that I'd noticed it hiding beneath your bed!" she spat.

"I won't get caught!" I replied, frustrated. She's always breaking the rules, and she has the heart to chide _me_ for my wrong doings? "And who are _you_ to tell me what I can and cannot do?!"

That changed her face immediately. She calmed down, and then laughed. "You're right." She said. "Besides, you'll need that dress for the ball. We all have to dress up because it's royal." Then her face turned apologetic. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's okay." I said, and then laughed. "I'm yelling the same things at myself, anyway."

Her face turned to confusion, and then she laughed too. "I get it. You're always the same Bella…always with the guilty conscience."

Then she perked up and smiled at me. "That really is a fabulous dress."

I smiled too. "I know."

---

And now I'm in the Inn thingy…which is like a cheap version of the Marriot. It's called the Fairfeild. Haha.

And we have one room. We have two beds…and four and a half people. Mom was pissed at first because she was hurting, and Randy was trying to rush her and she's like 'What's your fucking hurry!? Are we about to miss a plane?!' I snickered, but I was afraid I was going to be slapped, lol.

Then we all laughed. And then we got in and we were all trying to figure out where Alex (My little brother.) is sleeping. We were going to couple him with one of us, but then I was like, 'Guys…? He pees his pants.' So then we're like: Can he sleep in the chair? No, he's too big. Can he sleep in the bathroom? No, and the room is too small to wheel in a cot. So then I'm like 'Can he sleep on the floor?' Everyone laughs, and then they're like 'Hey, that's not a bad idea.'

Haha. Well, onto chapter 3, and then some planning! YAY!


	3. Disagreement

Ah, so here I am. I 'survived' the night, but it was painful. I've had to spend a few nights with Mom and her boyfriend before when we went to Colorado. He snores. Absurdly. On the first night, last summer, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I was being attacked by demons.

Haha, no demons. Just Randy's snoring.

I wasn't an insomniac back then, though. So I didn't fret much. If you fell asleep before him, you were fine. Unfortunately, I'm an insomniac now, and I keep waking up. I recorded it on my camera. It's absolutely… awful. Me and my sister were doubling over in hysterics last night (She had never heard him snore before.) and kept making me wake everyone up. Mom threatened to ground me if I did it again, haha.

I contemplated strangling him to death with the phone cord, or smothering him with his pillow. In the end, I almost slept in the bathroom…. And then I thought of stealing Dani's (My sister.) key card and sleeping in the hall.

I suffered 7 hours of sleepless pain. That AWFUL SNORING! AHHH!

But yeah, I'm writing this on ZIP sleep. So I expect it may be a little….loopy, lol.

Oh yes, that reminds me. Bella and Edward are human in my story… For now.

Not for long, muahaha!

But yeah, I wouldn't dwell on that for now. It's a very…unplanned story. I'm still not entirely sure what's going on. Right now I have the few key things I want to happen in the plot. Then I have the fluffy stuff I want to happen. I'm just not sure how I'm going to smash it all together.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Haha, I just wrote a one-shot of what happens when Stephenie Meyer happens across Bella and Edward when she finds a meadow in Forks, lol. It's going up right after this.

But sadly, Stephenie owns them. Not me. -sob-

* * *

**The Gown:**

_**Chapter 3:**_

**Disagreement**

_**EPOV:**_

I sat on the ledge of the wall, watching over the city that I would be staying in until my father thought it best to leave.

I could hear my father arguing with my step-mother loudly. Or maybe it was just loud to me because their window was just below the wall I sat on. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was sitting here peacefully, and they stormed in and started arguing something about blood-lines.

I wasn't sure exactly what they meant until I finally heard them say my name.

"Edward is to be Duke in mere years! And he still has no wife!" That was my step-mother. Her shrill voice hurt my ears, so I tried to avoid her as much as possible.

"I understand that." That was my father's deep booming voice, with a heavy Irish accent.

"No, you don't or you would have arranged something by now!" she wailed.

I rolled my eyes. Ever since my mother died, this scheming harpy has been trying nothing more than to get her hands on my father's money. I could practically hear her train of thought. 'If I marry off the brat, and he gets his throne inherited…' ect. She'd find some way to link this into one of her plans…whatever.

I didn't want an arranged marriage. I was perfectly content by myself. I took pride in the fact that I didn't need another being to make me happy. I didn't need love to make me complete. I was already complete. I had my books, and my horse, so I was happy.

That was all I needed.

"I already am planning something." My father's words held an air of dignity. "The Queen has invited us to her ball tonight. Cassandra will be there. I'm hoping the two will spark."

I rolled my eyes again. Cassandra was a frighteningly empty-headed girl who knew little more than how many mirrors there were in the castle and if she had brushed her hair enough times that morning.

I should think sitting in a stool staring at one's self for an hour while she stroked her hair with a brush a thousand times would be enough for one person, but she repeated that ritual three times daily.

She was shallow. Undeniably shallow. I wouldn't hit it off with her even if my father got on his knees and begged me.

It was one of those things that just would never happen. Just like me ever finding someone I could love as my equal.

The step-mother giggled and rattled on about wedding arrangements or something like that while I jumped from the wall and wandered aimlessly around the castle grounds. This castle was much larger than the one I had at home in Ireland, but that was because my father is a Duke, and the castle we are staying in belongs to the Queen.

We'd only been here for a month. I wasn't sure how much longer my father planned on keeping us here. I was beginning to miss home. I had my horse, though. That was a consolation.

But the library here wasn't as great as the one I had back home. I wandered through the garden, pausing to look at the roses. They were beautiful, that I could understand.

"Edward!" someone yelled from behind me. I groaned internally and turned to meet a blonde and petite Cassandra racing towards me.

"Edward, Hello!" she said beaming. I could almost hear her sick, lusty thoughts as she caught up to me.

"Hi, Cassandra," I said, in a bored tone. She didn't notice, and drawled on about the weather.

_Yes, the weather. Wonderfully deep topic, you ditz, _I thought cruelly in my mind. I rolled my eyes at every other sentence she spoke. And finally she started hinting at how badly she wanted me to pluck her a rose and give it to her.

"Mmm, these roses are so beautiful, aren't they Edward?" she said, smelling one.

"Yes." I said, racking my brain for a reasonable excuse as to why I was about to ditch her.

"Listen, Cassandra, I need to go and… Tend to my horse." I said, brightening up. It would be nice if I were to ride my horse today. Admittedly, it was a beautiful day.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, silly!" she said, playfully slapping my chest. I feared I may have to burn my shirt now. "We have people to do that for us!"

I frowned. "Yes, but my horse is very picky and I'd hate for one of your stable hands to be injured trying to take care of him." I said, trying to step away from her. She just couldn't take a hint. For each step away from her I took, she stole two steps closer, until I could count the freckles in her blue eyes. I was afraid of what she might try to do if I were step back again.

"Yes, well… Let me go with you, then!" she said, taking my hand, and breaking our eye-contact as she began to lead me away from this spot, towards the royal stables.

"Cassandra," Yelled another voice in the distance. "Cassandra, the Queen wants you!"

She stopped, letting go of my arm and scowling. "What does that old hag want now?" she hissed to herself.

I was slightly taken aback at her harsh words. Had my mother still been alive, I would never even thought of saying those harsh words. She was so ungrateful.

She turned to me. "We'll finish this later, I promise." And then she trotted away to the source of the voice.

_I certainly hope not._ I thought bitterly, and continued to the stables.

_**BPOV:**_

We were preparing to leave. We only had to sneak out, dress, and then go to the castle. Once there, we would slip in through the garden doors and have fun.

I still wasn't so sure that this was a good idea, but I knew there was no backing out now. Not with Jasmine, wagging her tail like a puppy.

Finally I heard the soft snoring of my mother as she spoke to herself in her sleep. A trait I inherited.

I grabbed the basket of clothes and dropped it down out of the window, letting it fall into the thick bush I used for escaping the house.

After Jasmine stepped out of the shadows to retrieve it, I jumped after it.

The bushes were soft, and caught me without causing me any pain. I stood up quickly, tripping over my feet and landing on my face.

I could almost hear Jasmine rolling her eyes. "Always the same Bella…" she chuckled.

We set out for the woods enveloping the castle grounds. I knew the way best, because I like to steal away at night and sit atop the garden wall outside of anyone's sight to look at the garden.

After we'd finally climbed over, we sought out the cover of the trees in the garden, changing as quickly as we could. After we were sure that we looked 'royal' enough, we exited, strolling about the garden as if we'd been there all night.

We walked carefully up to the entrance, looking each other over one last time to make sure we looked acceptable, and entered the palace.

"Wow…" Jasmine breathed, looking around the graceful castle with awe. I shared that feeling.

I looked at the elegant paintings around the ceiling. My eyes stopped on a painting of the Greek gods. Adonis stood out the most.

-WHAM!-

* * *

Haha, here we are. I'm back in sticky, smelly Florida, and I've just finished Chapter 3.

Oh, and if you don't know who 'WHAM!'ed in to Bella, than you seriously have some problems.

Geez, I can't wait to get back to my house so I can take a LONG shower. Get rid of the sweat. Ew. I swear, air conditioning is the best invention known to man.

I still haven't done the planning yet. I guess I'll do that now while we're driving in the car home.


	4. Name

Looks like I'll be sleeping in class today. I can't sleep tonight because my internal clock is thrown off from the sleeping on the plane and well into the day, as well as the two hour time difference.

Ugh, so this is what I'm doing now.

_**Disclaimer:**_ The plot idea is mine. Characters are not.

* * *

**The Gown:**

_**Chapter 4**_

**Name**

_**EPOV:**_

As expected, my father showed up in the stables as I was mounting my stallion and told me about the party I was expected to go to. And the people I was expected to meet.

I knew he was talking about Cassandra, but I played dumb.

I can't really remember what I did between then and when I'd looked into her eyes. Well, not well at least. It was all a vague blur.

What happened was that I'd arrived at the party, fully planning on showing up, staying long enough to make my presence known, and then leaving…?

But because nothing ever works the way I want it to, Cassandra had seen me, and was then persistently following me around.

I tried my hardest to ditch her, to get out of her sight. But I just couldn't shake her.

Finally, I gave her the slip, turning a sharp corner, then another, and turning back around so she would be confused.

I craned my neck to see if she'd seen me, still walking at a brisk pace, not looking where I was walking.

And that's when it'd happened.

I'd walked right into to someone, knocking them onto the floor with me on top of them.

I looked down into the eyes of the most beautiful being I'd ever have the pleasure to meet in my life.

She was so beautiful; I thought my heart would pound out of my chest. I was stunned for a moment, too stunned to move.

She was staring into my eyes too, and I could feel her heart pounding through her chest, beating against mine.

I was snapped back into reality as I scrambled up to stand. "Here, let me help—" I said, trying to help her up as she tried to stand.

The second our hands touched, I had let go; sending her tumbling back to the floor. _Oh God, could I be any more stupid?_

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I cried, embarrassed. It was like there was lightning that flowed between our hands at the slightest touch. It startled me. _Why am I acting so foolish? What's wrong with me?_

I helped her up again, pondering the shock that I still felt between our hands.

Did she feel it too? I wasn't sure why, but I hoped so. Truth be told, I kind of liked that feeling. It felt good in my hands, holding hers.

It took me a minute to realize I was still holding her hand after she'd stood up and that I was staring at her face. What snapped me out of my reverie was the blush creeping onto her face, and the shaking of her hands.

I let go immediately, embarrassed, and diverted my eyes to the floor. That of course, lasted for about 20 seconds before I wondered if she was as beautiful as I thought she was.

I looked up slowly, taking in the beauty of her dress. She must have been very rich. She could be a princess…or a duchess…

My heart thrilled at the word. Perhaps she could be _my_ Duchess…?

_What's wrong with me?_ I thought feverishly,_ I'd only looked into the eyes of one girl, and now I'm acting like a bumbling idiot!_

Finally my eyes reached her face, and I realized she was staring at me too. II stared into the depths of her eyes.

They were a chocolate brown that made me think chocolate was a substance worth eating.

I had to know this girl, I just had to.

"Hi, I'm—"

"There you are!" Cassandra cried, and my face turned to a look of horror as I turned around, and there stood the girl on the planet I wanted to see least of all.

"Since I've found you, don't I get a seeker's kiss?" she asked, in what I assumed was supposed to be an alluring voice. She just sounded incredibly stupid. Like a foolish little girl whom didn't know anything about what she was talking about.

But then, being the idiot she was, she proceeded to jump up on her toes to press her lips to mine.

I was briefly stunned for a minute, confused how anyone could be as stupid as her.

"I think I should leave you two alone." I spun around, her voice was so beautiful, that I thought my heart might pound its way right out of my chest.

And then the weight of the words caught up to me.

"No, please don't!" I cried while she stole away, but Cassandra tried to turn me around with her frail strength.

"So—"

"Get away from me!" I yelled, ripping her arm off of my shoulder. "Why do you always have to ruin everything?"

She looked horror struck, like this wasn't what she was expected.

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled as well. "I don't ever want to see your face again!"

I could almost hear her thoughts, 'What had I done wrong?'

Everything, you foolish child! You ruined everything!

I turned on my heel and walked after the beautiful woman, as she slipped away through the garden.

Then, my pace picking up, as I slowly ran, dodging people out of my way.

I ran out onto the patio in the garden, and looked around. I didn't see her.

I ran through the garden. She had to be here, where else could she have gone?

After I circled the garden several times, I knew she wasn't here.

She was gone.

I walked slowly through the palace, to my chamber.

I lay down on my bed, dumbfounded.

My confusion turned to anger as I thrashed for a moment, pounding my fists against the bed in a fit of blind fury.

"No!" I yelled.

But I had exhausted myself. Soon I'd fallen asleep, dreaming of her perfect face, and her perfect voice, and her perfect form.

And I didn't even know her name.

I couldn't tell you what the dream was about. I didn't notice anything about it. Just that she was there. And that she looked absolutely breathtaking.

What had happened to me? I'd barely gotten half a sentence out with her, and already I'm acting as though…

_Say it…_ My mind resounded.

I took a deep breath.

As though it were love at first sight.

I tried to imagine how soft her hair would be to the touch. If only I could touch her hair…and her face.

And her lips…with my own.

Oh what I wouldn't give to have kissed those perfect lips!

Oh yes. As foolish, and superficial as it seemed, I was in love…

And I didn't even know her name.

* * *

Okay, so I might not be posting for another 2 weeks or so. I have been grounded. I have mere moments to post this. 

They are coming for my laptop as I type, yikes. Forgive my half-ass sentences.

I missed the bus.

This chapter is half done.

There was going to be a BPOV to accompany this, or at least a half BPOV. But I ran out of time to type it.

I did not want to leave you hanging for 2 weeks.

That is why this chapter is short.

Next chapter will likely be short.

Sorry.

Loop holes are my specialty; I'll let you know if I figure something out.


	5. Forest

Hey guys, after doing my plot line up to the next 9 chapters, I decided to jump the time skip up 50 years. So now Edward and Bella are nestled in the 1670's (Specifically 1674). Okay? There is a reason, I swear. But we won't get to that for a while.

Oh. And long to me is like 3k-4k words.

And I found a loop hole. I planned on going to the media center at lunch and just typing then, but then it proved to be unnecessary in the end, because I successfully managed to convince my mom to give me back my laptop.

However, due to the fact that we're busy cleaning this house so that it's fit to sell, and moving, and since final exams are coming up, I'm going to be busy.

Summer vacation is in 11 school days! AH!

I can't wait. Then I'll be able to be the lazy-ass I am, and lounge back and type 'till the sun goes down, and there's nothing left to do but think.

I need to take up a few extra chapters, so this chapter will be short, I know, don't hate me.

So I figure, to save my neck, I'll two at the same time. -Evil laugh-

That ought to do it. Yup, you can't hate me if I post two chapters at the same time!

_**Disclaimer:**_ I made a bid on the rights. But sadly, Stephenie must find $22.32, a bus token, a torn copy of Twilight, and my math homework worthless, because she rejected my offer.

-Humph-

* * *

**The Gown:**

**Chapter 5**

_**Forest**_

_**BPOV:**_

I wasn't sure what I was doing. I think I might have been doing the dishes. But it was more like rubbing a plate against a dirty rag for all the thought I was giving it. Really, all I could think about was the young man.

And that look he gave me when he was on top of me.

And then that spoiled princess.

I couldn't understand why it hurt so much to think of it, every time I could see in my mind as she crashed her lips on his.

But it hurt to know I couldn't have him.

What am I thinking? I couldn't have him anyway; he's probably a prince or something… And what am I? The daughter of a poor seamstress…who is currently doing a bad job scrubbing at the plates in the tub that sat in the dirt outside the kitchen, wrinkling her hands in the process.

I just couldn't understand why I cared so much.

It was stupid to care so much. I probably wouldn't be able to have him, even if I was of royal status. He was beautiful. And if the princess wants something, she gets it.

And I'm not even pretty. Even my own mother agrees.

I frowned.

Everything just has to go wrong for me.

But I didn't even know his name.

And yet…I just couldn't help but fell like maybe… I loved him.

But that's just stupid. Love at first sight is superficial. Love shouldn't be based on looks alone.

And who's to say love exists at all? All men are the same; sloppy, messy, stupid pigs.

I just think…I don't know... Nothing ever makes sense for me anymore.

I dumped the plate I'd been scrubbing at mindlessly for the last ten minutes back into the tub and stood up to run into the forest. I needed to clear my mind.

The forest always cleared my mind.

_**EPOV:**_

I sat in the garden. I couldn't get my mind off her. I imagined what her skin would feel like beneath my fingertips.

I used to think that Romeo was stupid in Romeo and Juliet, but now I thought he might be onto something.

I felt like I might have found my Juliet.

But stupid Cassandra had to ruin everything.

That stupid, spoiled, ungrateful princess!

I wish I could see her again. I wanted to see her beautiful face again. To prove to myself that she couldn't really have been as beautiful as I saw at first glance.

I never needed anyone before. I didn't want anyone before.

Why did this girl have to show up? I didn't even know her name! I didn't need love.

But she was just so beautiful. And smart, I was sure. She looked intelligent. And she was so perfect…

Oh, why did she have to escape?

How could I have let her escape?

I jumped from the wall I was sitting on. I looked at the roses, plucking one from the bush and inhaling it deeply.

It was what I imagined her hair to smell like.

I tried to resist thinking of her, to just going back to what I was; Alone, and…

No, I wasn't happy when I was alone. Not like I am now.

Or rather, not like I would be if I could just see her again.

I climbed back up the wall, and jumped over to the other side.

Maybe a walk through the forest could clear my mind.

* * *

Yeah, I know. It's a REALLY short filler… Sort of… 

I just figured out my nearly entire plot-line. It's very hectic. Not as ironic as Invisibility… But still some MAJOR points of irony… I guess it could be just as ironic. It depends on what you consider ironic.

What's more, the plot line just keeps twisting. And the thing is over a very large time span… It's hard to explain without giving too much away. So I'll put it this way: Things are going to be a little sped up in the beginning, with the whole love thing. But it makes sense; I mean it _is_ love at first sight. And yeah, it will be a little cheesy at some places… Or more than just 'some' places… But I hope not.

I don't know… I'm afraid this may turn out to like a giant soap opera… But then again, a lot of fanfics these days are. WAIT! Think of it this way: Twilight: Girl falls in love with vampire, gets hunted by sadistic vampire, and gets thrown in hospital. Girl strives to become a vampire herself. Girl gets left by vampire boyfriend. Girl becomes victim of a walking coma. Girl meets boy. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl does not love boy. Boy turns out to be werewolf. Sadistic vampire number two comes back for girl, vampire boyfriend tries to commit suicide. Girl flies to Italy to save boyfriend. She saves boyfriend, and he returns to her. Werewolf best friend wants more with girl, so he gets her in trouble with dad.

The whole thing already sounds like a giant soap opera. Now, all we need is for Bella to have a twin sister, carrying her evil step-brother's adopted alien baby. (Adopted, but still impregnated with it… hm… LOL!)

So yeah. Right now it's at 14-16 long (To me) chapters.

I'm interested to see how this turns out. Right now, I'm just going to say it quickly; It won't be the story I originally planned it to be. It's not always going to be the romantic Cinderella story nestled in the renaissance like I'd wanted it to be… But I think it'll turn out to be a good drama in the end.


	6. Paranoia

Um, yeah…

Part two, of my two part don't-kill-me, if you got that.

Oh, and the whole love thing is super sped up, like in Romeo and Juliet, because this_ is_ supposed to be love at first sight. Okay?

Also, I don't particularly believe in God, or rather, any god at all. I prefer to remain unreligious, while I read about religion and philosophy.

It keeps me from being biased. I have beliefs-- don't get me wrong-- just no religion. I see religion as one big stereotype.

But people back then were VERY religious, so I figured Edward would fit into that trend nicely.

Plus, I'm totally in love with Edward, and who doesn't like the idea of someone as heavenly as him praying to a God that he might be able to touch, or see you again?

_**Disclaimer:**_ I upped the ante! Let's see how quickly Stephenie crumbles when I offer $22.3_**3**_!

* * *

**The Gown:**

**Chapter 6**

_**Paranoid**_

_**EPOV:**_

I heard a twig snap behind me.

I twisted my head around, scanning my eyes through the darkness, straining my eyes to see something.

I walked forward, trying to be quiet, but I heard the rustling again.

_This is ridiculous._ I tried to tell myself. _There's no one there. You're just being paranoid._

Then the rustling came from right behind me.

-WHAM!-

_**BPOV:**_

This was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea!

There is someone here, I'm sure of it.

There! Laughing! I heard someone laugh!

I turned around, anxious to get back home.

I heard it again, laughing!

As I ran, I turned my head back, scanning the trees if there should be someone in the woods that I just hadn't seen before, but there was no one.

-WHAM!-

_**EPOV:**_

I looked up, into the eyes of the familiar stranger.

Oh God, I was wrong. She was every bit as beautiful as imagined… She was even more beautiful than I imagined.

Oh God. She's lying on top of me. I'm touching her. I'm touching her!

I lifted my head off the ground, so as to press my lips to hers, but she scrambled to get off of me, and I silently kicked myself for being such an idiot. Why would such a vision of perfection love someone like me? I was merely a duke-to-be. She was worthy of a GOD, to say the least.

I was grateful that she didn't seem to notice my advance on her in her haste to get off of me.

When she finally stood, she was blushing.

She stared at me with shock.

"I-oh-I-um…" then she seemed to realize something and bolted away from me.

"Hey!" I yelled after her, "Come back!"

She didn't reply.

"Stop!" I yelled as I took off after her. "I wanted to talk to you!"

She seemed to trip over something in her haste, and she scrambled to get back again, but I'd already reached her by then.

I grabbed her arm, pulling her up. "Why do you keep running?" I asked her, as I helped her brush the dirt off of her shoulders. She tried to brush my hands away from her frame, and I felt my heart sink. I looked at her face and ached to touch her lips with mine…

She blushed and looked down. I wondered what she was looking at. I followed her eyes.

And then I realized.

She wasn't wearing anything of royal garb. She was a commoner.

I felt a great stab of disappointment. So I couldn't marry her.

But did that matter? No. It didn't mean I couldn't still be with her in secret.

She seemed to notice that I'd realized her status and she tried to bolt again.

"Stop that!" I cried, as I caught up to her again.

"Let me go!" she yelled, as I grabbed her arms and pulled her close to me. "Go back to your princess!"

I let go of her instantly, like I'd been burned. "She's not my princess!" I yelled. "She's a spoiled, pestiferous brat!"

She looked at me. "So you don't love her?"

"Love her?! I can't stand her!"

"But she's the princess. She always gets what she wants."

"Not this time. I wouldn't be with her if they begged me."

"_Why?_" She asked, incredulous.

"What do you mean 'Why?'?" I asked, unbelieving.

"She's the princess!" she repeated. "She's perfect, she's pretty! She's… royal."

"Is that what that's about?" I asked, laughing.

She tried to say something, but I cut her off.

"Listen, I could care less if you were some one's slave!" I chuckled, and then got serious. "I… uh… I…"

She looked at me with a confused look on her face. I tried to continue; to think of a proper way to tell this… stranger that thought I might have loved her. "I, um…Did you feel it?" I asked her.

"Feel what?" She asked, dazed.

"The lightning between us; when you were lying on top of me on the ground?"

She looked down, sheepishly, blushing again.

I took her face in my hands. Oh God, I was touching her face! Her skin was so soft… It was so perfect.

I lifted her eyes to meet mine; they were endless pools of brown. I felt like I was drowning.

I leaned down to press my lips to hers.

They touched, and I felt the lightning again…it felt good. Like my lips were burning, but like they were too cold at the same time.

It felt right. It felt so, so right to be kissing her, here in this forest, with no one watching us.

I admitted it to myself.

I loved her. I was kissing her. Gods! I was kissing her!

Her arms reached up, tangling her hands in my hair. She clutched me to her, and I wrapped my arms around her waist.

It was like we were meant to be together. Our bodies fit together perfectly, as I held her; she laid her head on my shoulder.

I lifted her into my arms, lying down on the grass, in the meadow we'd somehow ended up in. I laid her down next to me, not letting go of her, as I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her.

It was so scandalous, but I loved it. I loved holding her to me in this fashion. I loved touching her, while no one knew.

I loved being around her.

I loved the feel of her warm skin. She was so warm. Our heart beats thrummed together as we both calmed down, looking into the stars together.

"You are so lovely." I whispered into her ear. She blushed.

"I…" she said, and then stopped.

"What?" I pressed, bringing my hand up to caress her hair.

"I-I don't even know your name." she stuttered. "And here I am, lying next to you as if I'd known you all my life!"

"I feel the same way. But I also feel as though I'd rather die than be away from you." I sighed. "My name is Edward Anthony Mason."

She gasped. "You're the duke?!"

She tried to get up again. She made it three steps before I grabbed her.

"Stop that!" I yelled again, pulling her close to me and pressing my lips to hers. She seemed to forget everything she was thinking as she melted into my touch.

I smiled into the kiss. It was nice to know I had as much effect on her as she did on me.

"Why do you keep running?" I sighed, as I pulled away.

"…I can't remember." She said, dazed. I smiled.

"Now then, what's your name?" I asked, curious. What would someone as beautiful as her be called?

"Isabella--Bella Marie Swan," she said.

Oh, well that was ironic. Her name was the Italian word for beautiful. The name fit her perfectly.

"My beautiful Bella…" I sighed. She blushed again.

I sat back down on the grass, and gestured for her to do the same. I took her hand, pulling her closer, and letting her snuggle into my chest. We fit like puzzle pieces from the clay.

We talked for hours. I told her about my home, about my favorite horse, and was surprised to find she'd never been horse-back riding before, before I remembered that she wasn't royalty.

I didn't care, I silently promised to take her riding some day. We talked of our favorite books, and I was pleased to find that she'd read almost everything I'd read. She was very well educated for a commoner.

She told me some of her fonder memories. I told her some of mine.

I remembered the rose I picked from the garden and gave it to her. She looked really surprised, but also really happy.

I told her that no rose's beauty could compare to hers. She blushed.

We watched the stars, for hours upon hours…just melting into each other.

Then she saw the sun was beginning to rise, and told me she had to go.

"When will I see you again?" I asked. "I don't know." She said, sadly. "Promise me." I said, determined. "Promise you what?" she asked. "I want to see you again. I _need_ to see you again." She blushed. "Please." I said, looking into her bottomless eyes. "Meet me here, tomorrow night, at midnight." 

She remained silent.

"Please…" I begged. "Please promise me." "I promise." She said. I pressed my lips to hers again, savoring one last kiss before I had to go the entire day without her. I wasn't sure how I'd survive. 

She pulled away before I had the chance to, running away, leaving my lips cold and bare, as I stared after her retreating figure.

This time I couldn't run after her. But how did I know if she would come back?

_**BPOV:**_

As I lay in my bed, completely forgetting the laughter I heard in the forest, I couldn't help but think about how wonderful it felt to be kissed by him.

Before, I couldn't have been sure I loved him. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. But now I knew it.

I loved him. There was no doubt.

But how could I be sure he loved me?

* * *

-Breaks into the choir version of the Shoop Shoop song. (It's in his kiss)-

Haha, we sang that song in the choir. Everyone loved it. We just finished our concert… We sang three songs. Actually, we sang 5. But only five were the songs we sang specifically in my first period class.

First thing you need to know is that we're the advanced choir. You have to be a girl to get in, you have to be good, and you have to be able to read music. We aren't the best in the school though, there's the Concert Choir (All That Jazz.) Those guys are absolutely amazing.

They sing, and they dance. I didn't try out for the Concert Choir, because I didn't think I was good enough, but now I think that if I were to try out I'd make it in.

But I can't, because I'm moving -pouts-. My greatest fear is that when we move, there's going to be a 17 person choir in Colorado. If the choir isn't good, then it isn't worth my time, and I'll just take art instead.

So anyway, we were singing three songs: The Shoop Shoop Song (Redid by Cher.), Beau Soir, by Debussy (Which made me really excited… Geez, it was so beautiful. It was in French.) and -gag- I Enjoy Being a Girl (Which is just about the most sexist song ever to 'grace' the planet. 'I adore being dressed in something frilly…I drool ever dresses made of lace… I talk on the telephone for hours, with a pound and a half of cream upon my face…And my future I hope will be, in the home of a brave and free male…' Just the whole thing is stupid. But regardless, I sang it with a smile on my face.)

And then with the rest of the ladies in the entire choir program, we sang 'Ride On King Jesus' and with everyone (Guys included.) we sang 'Jabula Jesu'. Which was sung in whatever language is spoken in Swahili.

They were all fabulous. (With the exception of 'I Enjoy Being a Girl'. Does it not say anything to anyone about the fact that it was written by three guys?)

But, um, yeah… I'm getting off topic:

_**I think this chapter could have turned out much better than it did, but I guess its okay.**_

_**Yes, there was someone else there in the woods, but I won't tell you if it was human, vampire or werewolf, or some other mythical creature I might have thought to use.**_

_**You'll just have to find out later.**_

_**And no, before you ask, they DIDN'T have sex in this chapter. I can see how you might be confused. My friend, when she read it automatically assumed that they had, but that just might be her dirty mind, lol.**_

A good song for this chapter would be: Such Great Heights - the Postal Service.

I know all of the words by heart, so I'll type a few of the lines here:

I'm thinking it's a sign, that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images,  
and when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned.

And I have to speculate, that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes,  
like puzzle pieces from the clay.

Yeah, I used the clay line on purpose.


	7. Pain

Hey everybody! Um, I'm sorry to say, but there won't be as much conflict in the beginning with royalty and commoner as I thought there would be.

Because when you think about it, all they have to do is get past the pride and prejudice, and then all it takes is a little bit of sneaking and you can be with whomever you want. So really, if Edward loves her, then there's really nothing anyone can do to stop him.

I mean, no one is really paying close attention to him (He's only the duke-TO-BE, and he's in a country TOTALLY DIFFERENT to his own. No one is honestly paying attention to him. Except Cassandra, but Edward isn't giving him the time of day, and she isn't sneaking into his room at night, (Hmm, maybe I could work some royalty drama into there.) so there really is no one who knows or needs to know about him and Bella.

So now they're sort of with each other. Neither of them has said right out 'I love you' yet, which is why I have this chapter.

It's sort of a fluffy little filler at first, but then I added the drama of THE GOWN, into the story.

So it's going to get a little… Hm. What's the word I want? Well, if you think of one after you read this chapter, post it in a review.

* * *

**The Gown:**

**Chapter 7**

_**Pain**_

_**BPOV:**_

The day passed by in a blur around me.

I didn't walk, I floated. Everything I did was one blur. All I could think about was him. And his beautiful green eyes…and his perfect kisses.

But I couldn't help but wonder why he would love me… ME of all people!

This is what brought me down to earth.

He couldn't love me. Not ME the commoner. He's going to be a DUKE! I'm destined to scrub dishes and clean until my mom marries me to some man who told my mother he 'loved' me.

And then, I'll be scrubbing dishes and cleaning a house until I bear children. And then I'll be taking care of those children.

And it will all go to waste because the man that marries me will never be one one-hundreth of the man Edward is.

I sighed.

What if he isn't in the forest when I go at midnight?

What if he…?

_It doesn't matter._ I told myself. Go anyway. If he isn't there, he isn't there…but if he is…

I made my way through the forest, then. The moon was directly over head, full and shining bright. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going, but it hadn't rained, so I just followed the tracks I'd made when I ran home last night, silently marking the way my eyes. When I reached the meadow, he was there.

"Bella!" he cried, running to me and wrapping me in his strong arms. I couldn't believe it. It was all a dream, I was sure. This was all my imagination.

I sighed happily, as he brought my chin up with his hand and pressed his lips firmly to mine.

He pulled away, sitting down on the floor and pulling me down with him.

I sat in his lap, laying my head on his chest while I listened to his heart beat. It was fast. Just like mine.

I smiled, and kissed his covered chest over his heart.

I looked up at him, and he reached his hand up to caress my hair again.

"Edward?" I asked, unsure.

"Hmm…?" he replied, content.

"Are…are you sure about this?" I asked, looking down to avoid his gaze. "I-I mean, I'm just a commoner… And well… You're a duke…."

He brought my chin up again, frowning. "I'm absolutely sure." He said. "And I'm not a Duke. Not for many, many years." I smiled, but frowned and looked down again.

"But what happens when you have to go back to your country? What happens then?" I said, feeling devastated just thinking about it.

He thought for a moment. "I'll find a way." He said, determined. "I'll come to school here; I'll take you with me… I'll…." He paused for a moment. "I… Bella, I know I've only met you truly yesterday, but… I just…. I love you."

I looked up in shock at his words. "Edward, I-I…"

He looked worried suddenly. "Were those the wrong words to say?"

"No!" I said, quickly. "I… I love you too."

He smiled. "Good. Because I'm not sure what I'd do without you." He laid his head on top of mine, and I furrowed my face into his warm chest. He was so warm.

He wrapped his arms around me. I just wanted to melt into him and never let go.

We stayed like that for a few more hours. Until the sun started to rise and I knew I had to go back home.

"Can I see you again?" he asked again, nervous.

"I'll be here tomorrow night, I promise." I said, smiling.

This time, I didn't wait for him to kiss me. I stole a kiss from his lips, leaving him in a dazed surprise as I ran back towards my small home.

I did not expect what would be waiting for me there.

_**EPOV:**_

It must be two past mid-night! Where is she?

My stomach twisted with pain.

She didn't mean it. I went too far when I told her I'd loved her. She didn't really love me. She was just playing along.

Then I grew angry. Of course, that's it. She's a girl. They break hearts. That's just what they do.

I mean, just look at my mother! She couldn't have been strong and brave! No! She had to be weak, and get sick! If she'd really loved my father or me, she would have lived so she could be with us!

I hadn't realized that I'd begun to cry until I sobbed quietly.

That's all women will ever be good for: breaking hearts.

Someone stepped into the meadow.

"Bella?"

_**BPOV:**_

"Where have you been!" my mother screeched, as soon as I stepped through the door. She looked at me with the most murderous glare.

She held up the gown, and I froze. Oh God. This is it. She's going to—

"How DARE you defy my wishes!" she yelled, ripping the dress to shreds. "I told you to DISPOSE of it! And you make it into a gown!"

She took a step closer. "Why? Did it make you feel pretty? Because you aren't! You're ugly, and stupid! Did it make you feel important? Did it?!"

She was scaring me, and I stepped back slightly. "Don't you step away from me!" she yelled, and I wanted to duck in fear.

"You stupid, ugly, insignificant child!" she cried, running forward and slapping me across the face. I tried to stand still, but I let a cry of shock fall from my lips.

"What were you thinking?!" she yelled, hitting me, again and again. Pulling at my hair, and grabbing my sleeves to keep me from running. I tried to shield her blows with my arms, but there were too many.

Finally, she stopped, turning around and throwing the dress into the lit fireplace.

"Go to your room." She hissed. "And if I see you again in the next fortnight, I promise the encounter will not be a pleasant one."

I ran up to my room, shutting the door as quietly as I could, and collapsing at my bed, careful not to fall on my quickly forming bruises.

And I cried. My mother had never hit me before. And… now… And-and…

I sobbed quietly into my pillow.

D :

The night passed quickly with no sleep, but the day crawled by.

I waited hours for her to finally fall asleep, and then I crawled from my window, and ran through the forest, eager to find my safe harbor again.

_**EPOV:**_

"Bella?" I asked, standing up and running to her, wrapping my arms around her.

She smiled. "Who else?" "I-I just thought, that when you didn't show up, that you didn't…"

"Didn't what?" she asked, wary.

"…that you didn't mean it when you said you loved me last night."

She was silent for a moment. "Never think that! Never!"

I wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry Bella… I just…" I looked down into her eyes, and then kissed her. She was just so beautiful.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you." I whispered.

She scoffed. "You're wrong._ I_ don't deserve_ you_."

"You're right." I said, sighing, and kissing her again. "You deserve much better."

She frowned, and I kissed her again, eager to make her frown go away. "Why then, were you so late?"

"It was nothing." She whispered.

"Nothing?" I asked, suspicious.

She looked away from me. "I don't want to talk about it."

I frowned. "You can tell me anything."

"I know." She sighed.

"But you won't tell me this?"

She shook her head.

I lifted her chin with my finger and kissed her again.

"_Please_, Bella?"

She sniffed, which made me worried at once, was I making her cry? I didn't want to hurt her!

"My mother…she found the dress."

"What happened? What did she do to you?" I asked, alarmed.

"Nothing," She said quickly. Too quickly, but I was too happy that she opened up to me to really notice.

I leaned in, and pressed my lips to hers again. My arms wrapped around her waist, pressing her to me, my hands traveling up her arms, and around her back up to tangle in her hair.

She flinched, "Ouch." She whispered.

"Bella, what is it?" I asked, worried that I'd hurt her.

"Nothing," She said, quickly again, and this time I didn't believe her. I looked closely at her neck and saw the bruises. I growled.

"She did this." I said. It wasn't a question.

"She was angry, she didn't know any better." She said, trying to protect her.

"That doesn't make it right." I snarled. "No one should ever touch you like that! It's a sin to hit an angel."

She blushed, but snuggled into my chest.

"It's okay, I'm alright. She won't do it again." I wrapped my arms around her carefully this time, hugging her close, not wanting to let her go. I felt a powerful surge of hate towards her mother. No one should _ever_ touch _my_ Bella. No one.

But I was getting fast distracted by the bundle of warmth I was holding against my chest. She was so soft and perfect. It felt so good to hold her in my arms.

I wanted to kiss her again.

I kissed the top of her head, over and over, setting her gently on the ground and kissing her softly. I wanted to protect her forever.

"I wish I could steal you away, and live with you in my castle back home, where you'd be able to live in luxury like you deserve."

She sighed and furrowed her face into my chest more, making me smile. I never knew having someone love me would feel so amazing.

We sat like that until, again, the sun began to rise, and she knew she had to escape home.

_**BPOV:**_

We spent two weeks like that, loving each other passionately, and talking of our hopes and dreams.

Some of the things he'd say were so beautiful it would make me cry.

He said that I was so beautiful, that I could make _him_ cry.

I doubted that, but I loved being near him. I loved him holding me. I loved him kissing me. I loved him whispering poetry he'd written into my ear. I loved him telling me stories of his own country back home. I loved that he loved me. I loved that he cared what I had to say. I loved that he enjoyed hearing all of my fond memories.

I loved _him._

But then I noticed him becoming distracted. He would kiss me more roughly, more hungrily. He would speak faster, as if he was afraid he'd run out of time.

He would stay with me as long as possible, and though I loved every extra moment of time I could scrounge with him, it meant something was wrong.

"Edward?"

He lifted his head from my chest, listening to my heart beat, to look into my face.

"Yes, darling?" he sighed, contentedly.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, concerned.

"What do you mean?" he asked, feigning confusion. That angered me.

"I mean, why are you acting so strange?" I persisted.

"Strange? How so?" He asked me, still 'confused'.

I sighed in aggravation. "Edward, tell me. If you don't I'll probably think it's something far worse than it is."

He was silent for a moment.

"I have to go back to Ireland." He said, looking away from my face. My heart stopped.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

He frowned. "I don't want to go. I already tried talking to my father. He insists I go with him. I can't stay."

"Oh then." I said, looking away, and sitting up, away from the warmth of his embrace. I felt cold. "I guess that will change things."

"It doesn't have to!" He cried, trying to wrap me in his arms again, immediately catching my gist. "I'll write to you every day!"

I looked away from his face. "I'll come back as soon as I can!" he continued. "I'll beg my father to let me come to school here if I must!" I turned to him, but didn't say anything.

I laid back in him arms.

Four months.

Nothing. No word. No letter. Nothing.

I guess I wasn't good enough for him. I knew it all along.

So then why am I so heartbroken?

* * *

(Stuff actually related to this chapter is bolded, slanted, and underlined. Note that there isn't much, haha.) 

_**Please don't hate me!**_

_**Things will get better! (I hope…. Lol, jk. I have the plot line written out. It's going to be WAY more hectic than invisibility. It's going to go off in several different directions… But I'm still not entirely sure how it's going to end.)**_

And a good song for this chapter would be….

Um, I was listening to 'Simple and Clean' by Utada Hikaru, the Techno version on the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack.

See um, long story. Way back when we lived in the Summerfield house (We call our old houses by the streets we lived on, I.e. Summerfield house, Covington house, and soon, the Carlyle house.) my mom got me the Kingdom Hearts video game.

At first, I thought it'd be stupid. Turns out to be one of the best games I'd ever played in my life.

Of course, this happens to be around the same time my brother finds it appropriate to bash game systems when he's angry.

System breaks, and then I can't play. I never got far from the beginning…sadly. And then after we moved and got a new PS2, we lost the video game. Mom keeps promising to get me a new copy of the origional KH... But that was like... 3-4 years ago, lol. Actually, we were in Target, and mom saw one on the shelf and tossed it in the cart, but Randy was being a jerk that day, so he took it out of he cart and told Mom that 2 books and some accessories for the PSP were enough for me. (Hmph. Jerk.)

But I loved the song from the beginning. I was never that big of a game person… or a JPop-Rock person.

But THIS song impressed me.

And then I was laying back in bed, and out of nowhere, in pops into my head: When you walk away, you don't hear me say, PLEASE! Oh Baby! Don't go! Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight!

And I'm like, 'Hey! I love that song!'

Haha, I do that all the time. I'll do that in the middle of class. 'Hey! I love this song!' When a song pops into my head and starts playing.Which is exactly what I do when I'm listening to the radio, lol.

And today, in Drama, someone said 'I wanna be...' and I sang 'I wanna be an American idiot!'

And my friend Jillian turned to me and said 'See, you're thinking that, but I was thinking of the Pok'e'mon theme song.'

HAHA! So then we started singing the Pok'e'mon theme song. 'I wanna be, the very best!'

I don't think anyone looked at us strangely, because we're always doing stupid stuff in class. (The conversation that caused me to write 'A Strange Encounter' ended with me standing up after class and yelling 'No! Edward! Come back! I LOVE YOU!!!!' Haha.)

So then I went online and downloaded it.

And that was what I was listening to when I wrote half of this chapter (The second half.) and I figure, hey, that fits into the plot line well enough.

Wow. That was a long, and useless author's note.


	8. Massacre

Okay, so…

No, haha, Edward doesn't get married while he's away. (Although, that would make for an interesting plot line if anyone wants to use it. But you'd have to ask schmexybella first. It was her idea.) And Bella doesn't crash the wedding.

She doesn't do anything. She just mopes around. But her mom is too busy ignoring her after The Gown incident to really notice.

So this is what happened in Edward's POV after he left.

And yes, I was a hopeless Pokémon (HAHA! Ms has a spell-check for Pokémon!) addict when I was 7…and for several years following it. I collected the cards and everything… Until some jealous bastard stole my binder with them all in the fifth grade, lol. (I had at least a couple hundred dollars worth of cards, -sob-)

I still play the games, (Although, I haven't in a while. Or any games, for that matter. I still need to get Fire Red, Leaf Green, and all the new ones for the DS. And I'll probably need to get a DS too, since Alex's is busted. And even if it was fixed, getting him to let me use it would be like pulling teeth.) But I've stopped watching the television show after I realized how totally ridiculous it was.

But the games OWN! Haha, lol.

And yes, Pestiferous is a word. Used as early as the 1500s! You guys have all heard the word 'Pest'. Now you know where it came from.

**_Disclaimer:_** Hurry up an send me the rights, Steph! (Warning: Don't sue me, that was a JOKE.)

* * *

**The Gown**

**Chapter 8**

_**Massacre**_

_**EPOV:**_

I boarded the ship with a heavy heart. I knew I wouldn't be able to see her for a few weeks at least.

The thought of not being able to kiss her made me frown even more deeply.

"My Son!" my father called from somewhere. I turned to look at him. He was smiling. "Why the long face?" he teased.

I wasn't in the mood to be teased. "Nothing, father…I just don't very much like sailing. You know that."

She chuckled. "Ah yes, seasickness. Well, you could ask the cook to prepare for you some kind of remedy? He's good at that sort of thing."

I nodded, knowing that I wouldn't. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to lie down and sulk.

It was several hours before the ship left the harbor, and several more hours before we made it out to sea.

Little did I know we would be trapped like rats.

* * *

Shortly after dawn, I was awakened by screaming. My father burst into my room, grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me through the door. I was still half asleep, and had no idea what was going on.

"Father…?" I asked, but he just shushed me.

Then I felt something grab me from behind. "Father!" I cried as the thing tore me from his grasp and began carrying me away.

I looked into the eyes of my attacker. They were blood red.

* * *

I had never felt any pain like it before! It was burning! Through my veins like fire! I was in hell, I was certain of this. I tried to count my sins in my mind, but was distracted by my own screams of agony.

Then suddenly, my whole body felt as though it had burst, and I thought surely I would die, but then it stopped.

After what I was certain was a century, it stopped.

All at once; it just stopped.

I groaned and rolled over. My bones felt sore. Like they'd all been broken and then healed impossibly fast.

I tried standing up but fell the first time. My body felt heavier to myself than I last remembered it.

I tried standing up again, and this time it was easier. I stood up, wondering what had happened, and looked around the ship.

We were still at sea. I turned around and jumped in horror. A shriveled up body lay next to me.

I ran away from it, but they were everywhere. Just when I was certain that I was at sea and alone, I heard someone scream from close by.

"Father!" I yelled, running towards the voice.

Just as I rounded the corner, the screaming stopped, and my father lay motionless on the floor.

Then he started mumbling. "Thank you, God, Dearest Lord, for saving me from the fiery pits of hell."

Then he opened his eyes.

"Father!" I cried, grabbing him and hugging him. "What happened?" I asked.

"That thing…" he said."He was…"

"Yes…?"

"A vampire."

"No." I whispered in disbelief. It wasn't true. It couldn't be.

"I saw it with my own eyes." He said solemnly.

"So then…?" I said, trailing. "This means…"

He nodded his head.

I made the symbol of a cross over my chest and begun to pray.

* * *

We decided to chance swimming back to the nearest island. If we were vampires, then surely we'd be able to make it to the nearest island. What's the worst that could happen? We die?

I scoffed at my own unfunny joke.

I looked at my hand in the sunlight. It sparkled beautifully. It disgusted me.

I thought about my Bella. I couldn't let her see me like this. Could I?

No, she'd hate me forever.

I wanted to cry.

If I never went back…at least then she'd be safe, and her last memory of me would be pleasant.

I figured out a while ago that I didn't need to breathe when I'd tried to drown myself. It didn't work.

I sighed, and jumped overboard. My father followed after me.

We swam together to the nearest island, which happened to be Ireland itself.

* * *

I stared at the young woman with disdain. It was her fault I was doing this. If she hadn't persisted in trying to get my attention, I never would have gotten close enough to smell her blood.

But no, I was here sinking my teeth into her neck and reveling in the feeling of her blood slithering down my throat…

And the worst part…was that I enjoyed it.

I was one, sick bastard. I deserved to rot in hell.

Oh God, what am I doing!

I tried to stop, tried to pull away from her neck, but I couldn't.

And soon, I was lost to the animal in me. I no longer thought of right and wrong. Only how right it felt to have her blood on my tongue.

* * *

"Father, you know we can't stay here any longer." I sighed. He nodded. He knew that soon people would connect the missing people to the new comers that were acting strangely.

"And… father?" I asked.

"Son?" he asked, mentally tired.

"I think… I need to go back to England. I…" I sighed, unnecessarily. "I need to see someone; my…friend. Father, I haven't been very truthful with you."

What did it matter? It's not like blood lines are exactly important now.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Father, I fell in love with a girl. A beautiful girl. A wonderful girl. And she loves me… And I cannot bear to not see her at all."

He nodded his head, but said nothing.

"I need to see her again before she forgets about me, and moves on."

"But son…?" he asked. I knew what he was implying. I could hear it in his mind.

"I know. I think I'll be able to handle it. I just need to be careful." I sighed.

"So then…" _This is good-bye? _He asked in his mind.

I hugged him. "Good-bye, Father."

"Good-bye, Son."

* * *

I set off towards England.

But just before I got to the city, I began to get cold feet.

Would I be able to hide what I was? Or would I tell her and have her hate me? Run from me and loathe me?

I wasn't sure I could handle it if she told me she hated me.

I shuddered. And sat down on the ground where I sat. I was glad it was raining. Any passers-by probably wouldn't notice me.

I let my thoughts return to my love. I would always love Bella. She was the one thing that was always at the top of my mind. The thing that kept me from feeding more often was her. 'What would Bella think?'

That simple thought was usually enough to keep me from lunging at the nearest human. I'd just imagine it was her and move away before temptation proved to be too great. The only time I failed was when I'd gone too long without feeding…after those first three weeks.

After feeding from the human I felt dirty, and wrong. I felt low and disgusting. I showered even though I was still clean. That disgusted me the most.

How good I was at feeding; that I wouldn't spill any blood.

I was thinking of this when I sensed him. Another vampire.

I was absolutely sure.

I could hear his thoughts. He was close.

* * *

_"Carlisle," greeted the vampire, as he shook my hand._

_"Edward." I said. I looked into his eyes. They were topaz colored, not red._

_"Carlisle? Why are your eyes…?" I asked, curious._

_"Well, I don't feed from humans. I feel wrong doing so, so I feed from animals instead." I looked at him hopefully._

_"You can do that?" I asked. "It works?"_

_"I've been doing it since I was turned. I haven't seen anything wrong with it." He said, smiling._

_"Please…?" I begged, "Could you teach me? Allow me to travel with you?"_

_He thought for a moment. "I wouldn't mind." He said. "I've been very lonely in my travels. A companion would be very welcome."_

And that began the beginning of a long three months.

He taught me to abstain, but it was difficult. Very, very difficult.

But it didn't matter how happy I was to not be taking human lives, though I still felt guilty for the one I had taken, I was still miserable.

I still had yet to see my Bella. I was certain that she'd find someone better than me by now. It's been four months. Someone as smart as her would have moved on by now.

I sighed in frustration.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked. I turned to look at him. We were sitting in an inn somewhere in a village close to London. All I could think about was Bella.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Something is bothering you. I can feel it." I frowned.

"It's nothing." I said, turning away from him.

"That's a lie, Edward, and you know it." He said sternly. "And you know how I feel about lies."

I sighed. "I'll tell you then." I said, annoyed.

I wondered where to begin.

"I met a girl, at a party when I was human, and to be a duke. I thought she was of royal status, but she ran off before I could talk to her. It was love at first sight."

He smiled.

"I went for a walk, confused by how I could fall in love so quickly, as I'd never felt that way before, and literally bumped into her." I smiled at the memory. "She was a commoner, but I didn't care. I loved her with all of my heart. She was mine."

He smiled again, more deeply this time.

"And then I had to leave for Ireland. I promised her I'd write every day; that I'd be back to see her as soon as I could." I frowned. She must hate me by now.

"But I was attacked on my ship not two full days after that." I shuddered, remembering the pain. "You know the rest…but she must hate me now. And I want to see her, but I'm afraid."

He smiled warmly. "If you love her, then there should be no choice. You should go to her."

"But, what if I-I… What if I hurt her?" I said, swallowing my venom from the sick thought of feeding from a human...from her.

"I think you can handle it." He said calmly.

"But—"

"But what? Do you want to see her?"

"It's my heart's desire."

"Then go to her." He said, and I smiled, renewed with confidence.

* * *

I left later that night. I ran to her home. I knew where it was. I'd followed her once, after she'd been attacked by her mother. She didn't know, but I'd wanted to protect her, so I followed her home. I didn't leave until I saw the light in her room go off.

But that was then, and this was now. The room was empty, I could tell. So I reached into my bag and pulled out a pen and some paper.

_Bella,_ I wrote.

_Please forgive me for not sending you any letters, I need to explain. Please meet me in the forest again, tonight._

_I love you._

_All my heart,  
Edward._

_P.s. I would never dream of forgetting you. I love you far too much. But I need to explain._

I entered her room.

Her scent hit me like a bull. It was everywhere. It was all over the bed, the dresser, and the clothes in her dresser… I immediately jumped at her bed and sniffed ravenously at the pillows, pressing one to my face and inhaling deeply.

Dear God, I'd never come across any scent as powerful as hers. Hers was absolutely wonderful… I had to resist the urge to attack her pillow.

I left the note on the pillow and jumped through the window, anxious to get away from the closed room. I prayed that I'd be strong enough to resist while I was out in the open air with her.

I waited anxiously for her in the woods. I hoped that she'd forgiven me enough to at least see me one more time. If she didn't, then I wouldn't blame her. I could only blame myself for leaving her alone like I did.

When she arrived, I knew it immediately.

* * *

AN:

Haha, I finished this right after I posted chapter 7.

So, um, I guess I'll post it after I get some more reviews. I only have like, 80 for the whole story. It pales in comparison to how many I had for Invisibility, but then again, not everyone likes the time difference stories.

But I would still like to get at least 15 for each chapter. (Some of them, I have none! But those were the ones I'd posted at the same time as other chapters.)

Oh! And for those who haven't been to my profile, there's a link I have there titled 'For Fun'.

Click it. Please. I beg of you. Click it and sign up. Because I have 12 days before my clock expires and I'm at game over. (I've recruited 11 people already; it'd be a waste to get game over now!)

You won't understand until you click the link and read the info, but it's this game I'm totally crazy for… Just because I really like crazy and pointless stuff like that. But I think it's totally fun, and a good way to promote creativity.

So let me put it this way: You've all been invited! Come play with me!


	9. Love

I know you're expecting the WONDER CHAPTER (-Queue heroic music-) but I'm sorry to tell you that this STILL probably isn't it.

So to make up for the fact that I think this chapter is… not as good as I hoped it would be, I also posted a bonus one-shot called 'Torture'. It's racy, but I think it doesn't denote an M, because it has no bad language; just some VERY suggestive themes.

It's about if Bella were to have the ability to let Edward read her mind after she's changed, she could use it to punish him after he teases her. How?

You'll just have to read to find out, lol.

It's in Ed's POV.

Someone said that chapter 8 was rushed, and I agree, but that's partially the fault of the document processor they use for FF -dot- net, because when I went to re-read the live copy earlier, I saw that there were no breaks where I'd put them!

Which made everything jumble together, looking rushed and forced. I'm sorry if it was bad at first, but I think it's better now.

I still think it's a little rushed… but that's also for the sake of my sanity. When I write something, I basically sign my emotions over to what I'm writing.

So yeah, I know they're rushed into the love thing, but there will be a reason… I hope. If I decide it isn't too corny.

And THANK YOU! To those who did take the invitation! (It's never too late to click that link… I swear it. The more the merrier!)

And when the timer gets low, I'll remind you all again, lol.

And I've been out of school for a while now, (Since the 25th.) but it wasn't until I uploaded this chapter that I realized it never saved before I shut down my computer…

And I had to do the hard part AGAIN! Grrr. Although, I think it might be better now.

No school, YAY!

This means I can write as much fluff, angst and depression as physically possible, without having anything interfere with my school work.

-Squee-

**_Disclaimer_**: I only own the (Soon-to-be) outrageously ironic plot line. Everything else is Steph's.

And remember: Back then, they believed in Vampires and Witches and all of that.

* * *

**The Gown**

**Chapter Nine**

**_Love_**

I wasn't sure what to expect. I stared at the paper that lay on my pillow for almost a full minute before I finally reached for it.

I sat down on my bed, holding the folded note in my hands, while I stared off at the ceiling, wondering whether I should read it or not.

I decided after a moment, that there was no better way to know, than to read it.

I unfolded it, and read my name in what could only be his script. It was perfect, naturally.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to read on. The note was short, but how could I be sure it wouldn't break my heart, whatever was written in it.

I took a deep breath, and then read on.

_Bella,_ I read.

_Please forgive me for not sending you any letters, I need to explain. Please meet me in the forest again, tonight._

_I love you._

_All my heart__Edward._

_P.s. I would never dream of forgetting you. I love you far too much. But I need to explain._

I had to beat back the hope with pain. How could I be sure he wasn't lying?

I couldn't.

But should I wait for him there? How could I be sure it would do me any good even if he was there?

I couldn't.

Did I even want him to be there?

Yes; with my entire heart. I wanted him to take me into his arms and promise to never leave me again.

I'm not sure when I made the decision , but I waited for the sun to set before hoping out into the bushes and running towards the forest.

I tripped on a few roots on the way, but I remained unscathed as I ran to him in the hopes that he might be there.

And then… I entered the meadow.

Two things jumped out at me in that moment.

First, was his face; if I thought he was beautiful before, now he was god-like. Then, I noticed his eyes. They scared me a little.

I stepped forward cautiously.

I stopped when I was in front of him.

There was silence for a minute. It angered me.

"Well?" I finally asked, piqued.

"Bella…" He said, stepping forward and reaching his hand up as if to touch my face. "What happened to you…?" he asked, quietly.

I looked away. I knew I looked unhealthy. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. My eyes were probably blood-shot from lack of sleep. My face was no longer blotchy and red like they were before after they left, from my constant crying. Now that my tears had run dry, it was deathly pale.

I looked away, but I could tell he was trying to reach for me again, before dropping his hand and taking a step back.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

I ignored him.

"Bella… I need to explain." He said, still quietly. He appeared to be angry, as if holding something back. Was he resisting the urge to yell? It made me angry. If anyone had the right to be angry, it was me.

"You do." I agreed, icily.

"Bella, I know you're mad…" he sighed, looking down. "But you need to understand—"

"Understand what? That you left me for four months? I already understand, Edward. If you stopped loving me, all you had to do was write to tell me." I looked away from his red eyes.

His head snapped up, and the sudden movement startled me slightly.

He looked angry. "Didn't you read the note? Bella, I love you!" he yelled. "Why would you think that had changed?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "So you come back after four months, leave a note on my pillow and expect me to jump at you with open arms." I scoffed. "Surely you jest?"

He looked down.

I laughed a bitter, humorless laugh. "Oh! So you _did_ expect me run into your arms!" I scoffed again. "Well, _your__ royal highness_, I'm sorry to tell you, but things don't work that way."

"Bella…" he sighed, like he was unsure what to say. But at the same times he looked like he was in pain. Was talking to me really so painful?

He finally took a step forward and put one hand under my chin, raising it up like he used to.

His hand felt like ice, but I still felt myself melting at his touch. Even though his eyes were red, I still felt myself drowning in them. My mind was turning to goo.

"Bella… I left because I had no choice. I didn't write because… something happened… and I didn't want you to get hurt. I would have raced back after the first day if I'd… been… strong enough…"

He was struggling for words. I wondered idly, still stunned by his absurd beauty, if it was because he was lying, and didn't know how to, or if it was simply because he didn't know what to say.

"And then... I tried……" as he stared into my eyes, he seemed to have more and more difficulty speaking, like he couldn't remember what he was saying. His brain seemed to be turning to goo as well.

Finally, he stopped talking, still holding my face in his hands, just staring into my eyes like I was into his.

It felt like centuries as I just stood there, frozen in time. I never consciously made the decision that I forgave him. I just did. I reached up, and crashed my lips onto his, anxious to taste his lips again.

And then he was gone.

I almost screamed in agony and defeat. So I was right. All along he wasn't real. This was the moment his beautiful hallucination decided to dispel.

I wondered idly if I would be burned at the stake for my insanity. (**Author's Note:** Sometimes I wonder the same thing, lol.)

I sat down on the ground, just staring into the open space. I didn't feel like moving. I didn't feel like talking. I didn't feel like thinking. I didn't feel like living.

Suddenly being burned at the stake didn't seem so bad.

I'm not sure how long I just sat there. Time, I'd noticed, had stopped meaning anything after the first two months. It could have been days or hours. It could have been minutes. The moon was in the same place as before as I stared up at it, so it must have only been minutes before I felt his hands grab mine and try to help me up.

He held me to his chest, and I tried not to get hopeful again.

"What happened?" I asked the beautiful illusion.

He stared at me solemnly. "I need to explain…there's no putting it off like I'd hoped."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him.

He sighed, holding me tight against his chest. "Bella… after I boarded the ship… we were attacked."

I stared up into his eyes, my face—I'm sure—depicting complete and utter horror.

"There were no other survivors. Only my father and I survived… There was so much pain…." He whispered, his eyes cringing from an unpleasant memory.

"Bella," he whispered, his voice filled with pain. "We were attacked by vampires."

I froze. And he seemed to sense that and he let go. He looked so sad and vulnerable. Like just one wrong word would shatter him. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want him to shatter at my words. I just wanted him to love me.

So I tried to form the right words in my mind while only one word was coming out. "Oh." I said. He tried to look away from my eyes.

"I tried to stay away, to keep you safe from me…." he said, still whispering. "But I love you, Bella." he said, his voice getting louder, as if reeling from an epiphany. "Damn it, Bella! I love you!"

He turned to look into my eyes again. He was silent for a long moment, before whispering "I love you." again.

We just stared into each other's eyes. I was almost unsure what to say. I knew there was something I should have said back—that I could still say back—but I didn't. I was too busy thinking about what he'd said just before that.

If he'd been attacked by a vampire…then…that means he's…

I wanted to cry.

I felt as though it couldn't be real; that vampires were only stories told to scare little children, and that they didn't really exist.

But I could almost see the truth in his eyes. Correction—I _could_ see the truth in his eyes. And the truth was blood red.

It scared me. It deeply scared me.

But at the same time, I could feel the urge to kiss him again, to hold him in my arms and tell him everything was okay. If he was a vampire, a creature of the night, then it seemed silly to want to protect him.

But he reminded me of a lost child right then. He looked so scared, and vulnerable. I wanted to take him into my arms and comfort him. I wanted to tell him I loved him, and that nothing would ever happen to him.

So I did.

I slowly reached forward, and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him to me—or myself to him—and whispered his words back.

"I love you." I whispered, thinking that maybe he could hear me. "I love you, too." I repeated.

He looked down at me in shock, before wrapping his arms around me as well. One hand tangled in my hair while I nuzzled my face into his cold, yet comforting embrace. While the other stayed around my waist.

And in that moment, I was content. I felt like everything would be okay now. I felt like we'd be able to find a way to make everything work.

I wondered idly again, this time about his diet. How did I feel about it? Sickened, but how could he help it? He didn't ask for this life. So was I still disgusted? Yes. But I didn't care. We could find a way. I knew we could.

He sighed, breathing in deeply before freezing. "Oh!" he cried, as if remembering something. "Oh! My god!" he cried. "How could I be so stupid?!" he continued yelling. It almost scared me. What was he doing? "You love me!"

I looked at him, anxious and worried, and that seemed to calm him down. His face melted into a mask of contented love. "Bella, you must love me." he said. "I hadn't even told you that I didn't hunt humans—only animals—but you still accepted me for what I am."

I looked at him in shock before smiling and nuzzling my face into his chest. He hugged me to him tighter. "I'd love you no matter what." I mumbled into his chest.

"I love you." He said, just holding me in his arms.

And at that moment, I was surer of it than I'd ever been sure of anything in my life. Things would absolutely work out. I knew it would.

* * *

I wrote this chapter while simultaneously going through a SEVERE guilt trip. I found an email in my inbox when I logged on today, from my dad. 

It was sort of long. His mom died last March. Quote: 'She lived a longer life than I will.' I know what he means. He didn't come out and say it, but ever since his daughter (My half-sister) had gotten in the car accident that ruined her life (Now she can't walk or talk, and she's half blind.) his life was ruined too. (Of course, this happened 15 years ago, probably around the time I was conceived. It's a long story. I shouldn't post it on the web, so I won't. But I will say this: I feel like Brooke was punished because of me. I know you will say that it isn't my fault. And if my mom heard me say that I thought it was, she'd tell me it was nobody's fault. Or that if it was anyone's, it was hers, or my dad's. But that still doesn't stop me from feeling like it's my fault. Now is the part where you would notice that I'm not just talking about Brooke's accident. I'm a firm believer of karma.) Not to mention, he's diabetic. He's old. They aren't supposed to live much past 60, and he's already like, 63. He, his wife, and his daughter are probably all depressed. They all had dreams. And they all love each other so much… I haven't seen him in 8 years, but I almost feel like they're all each other have.

Hell, Brooke was so gorgeous before. She looked like an absolute super-model before. She still looks pretty now, but I don't think she feels the same.

And quote: 'If you don't reply to this email I won't bother you anymore.'

-Sob-

Damn it! I'm going to Shiny Toy Guns concert today! How am I supposed to enjoy it now?!

Needless to say, I sent him a LONG e-mail, with intentions of seeing him before the summer ends.

I still feel guilty.

I still feel scared.

I'm still afraid to go see him.

I wonder how he'd feel if I did bring along Dani.

-Sob-

And of course, Mom is all depressed from the surgery. And after looking at a very LONG list of side effects for her surgery (To remove her ovaries and everything.) one of the things that really scared me was the suicidal thoughts.

For someone who had it all removed, like her, 60 something percent of all patients (Of like, 600) had suicidal thoughts.

And it was something like, 12 percent that actually attempted.

-Sob!-

I don't want my mom to die! I don't want my dad to die! I don't want things to change! I'm happy with the way things are! Why do things ALWAYS HAVE TO GO WRONG?!?!

Oh geez, I'm rambling on about my life again… I should probably go post this in my blog, but I'd kind of like it here too. I think that here, at least it gets read. My blog gets a lot of views too, but you guys actually seem to care, lol. (You guys rock, BTW. Reviews are so awesome. It's only been like, 10 chapters—really 8—and I have like, 150 views.)

Needless to say, it was VERY hard to write this chapter. I'm not sure how it got done. And miraculously, this version seems to be a lot better than the last one.

Alright, well… I'll post this as soon as the internet is working again. We've already gotten our first tropical storm/depression…whatever it was. And the power went out a couple times yesterday. I'm waiting for Bright House to fix everything so we can get the internet working again.


	10. Black and White

I feel absolutely psycho. Entirely. But hey, this is why I'm 'Insanity's Partner'.

I feel like a TERRIBLE daughter. I am a genuinely terrible person. I'm not deserving.

What kind of a daughter doesn't want to see her own father? And I feel terrible, because I don't want to see him or talk to him at all. And he loves me, he really does. But I'm not sure I can return the feeling.

I've been happy with just my Mom for so long… I don't want a dad. And I feel like I'm stealing away his daughter. But I'm not the right daughter for him. He already has two, and a son. He already HAS grandchildren.

Hell, that's another thing. He's old enough to be my grandfather. It's disturbing, I know, but how would you feel if you called your dad on the phone, and he mistook you for your niece? His granddaughter?

I was only a little kid when it happened, so I'd forgotten it until I remembered it now, but I felt really crappy about it. And unloved. So I'd forgotten about him. Honestly. I can go whole years without thinking about him.

And that makes me an awful person! It's not fair! The email he sent me, which was titled 'Please read before deleting' might as well been titled 'This is your virtual guilt trip.'

You should read my blog. The last 5 posts. (Link on my profile.) It had everything, from the Shiny Toy Guns concert, to how I think I'm both insane and not insane.

I feel so unstable.

Therefore: I'm trying to keep this chapter as close to the plot line I can, but sadly these next few chapters are kind of sketchy. I don't have it as full as it is later on.

In fact! I may have to change the title and summary. The plot is going to change so drastically, you will want to kill me.

If I don't kill myself first.

Next: I'm not suicidal. I don't plan on killing myself; I swear. BUT, if I don't post… ever… it means something drastic has happened, causing me to kill myself.

I don't thin**k** it will happen, lol, I just don't want you all to hold a grudge against a dead person, lol.

Oh geez, I need a Ceaser salad.

And you know what's so messed up? That how I feel is so personal I can't even write poetry about it. Like it's better left unsaid. You should read the poetry on my Fiction Press account, too. Some of it works for now.

_**Disclaimer**_: My name is Valerie, not Stephenie. These characters are hers. These situations are mine.

A good song for this chapter would be: A Lack of Color – Death Cab for Cutie. The feel of the song is the exact tone of angst I'm working here. This also happens to tie in nicely with the chapter title, lol, though the lyrics are kind of… unrelated.

* * *

**The Gown:**

**Chapter Ten**

_**Black and White**_

_**EPOV:**_

I watched her again, as she ran away, as the sun rose.

I couldn't believe she was still alive. When she jumped at me… I thought that I would surely kill her.

Maybe it was the… want I felt for her. The want that—I knew—was wrong for me to feel towards her. The _lust_ I felt. But…she was just so beautiful… There was no way for me to stop wanting her.

And somehow, it was the want I felt, that kept me from attacking her; that I wanted the feel of her lips against mine again, though I refrained from that as well.

I stood up from my spot on the ground then, walking over to flowers that were growing on the other side of the small meadow.

And then there was the want for her forever; as mine.

But then it occurred to me.

I never really realized it before. She would die. Some day she would die.

I froze in the spot that I was in. I froze, before falling to my knees on the floor, in shock.

How could I not have realized this before? How could I not have realized that if I were to enter her existence again, it would only be temporary?

Why didn't Carlisle warn me?

How could he not tell me this would happen?

That was when it belatedly occurred to me.

He thought I was going to change her. He thought I would keep for forever.

I couldn't deny that I wanted it; that I wanted her by my side like that forever.

I could feel the color draining from my vision. That even though the flowers in front of me were just moments ago dazzlingly beautiful, even in moonlight—especially in moonlight—they felt dull and colorless now.

I felt my breathing unnecessarily kick up a notch. _NO! _I thought. I did not want her to suffer like I did—like I am. I don't want her to hate herself.

I don't want her to hate me for being the one to change her. I don't want her to hate _me_.

I want her to love me! I'd just finally found her again! Why can't we stay the way we are?

It occurred to me then. It can; we can. We can stay like this until things need to change. And things don't have to change. They can stay like they are until we decide that we want otherwise.

I sighed, and reached for the flowers, picking each one carefully, before adding it to the fast-growing bouquet I was preparing for her.

She didn't need to know how I became how I am. I could not tell her, and hope she never realizes just how awful I am.

I knew that I should leave her. Keep myself away from her; to stop tainting her perfection, but I simply couldn't keep away.

I just_ had_ to be with her.

So I sniffed at the bouquet, knowing it would never smell as wonderful as her, and I decided it needed some freesia, which I couldn't find anywhere. So I sighed, and made my way over to her home.

I was certain I could handle the scent if I took it carefully. If I prepared myself mentally for what was to come.

As I made my way through the forest, I wondered just what it would be like to have her as one of us; to be able to live with her forever. The thoughts were tempting, I had to admit. They were so tempting, in fact, that I had to push them away before I did something I would regret, as I neared her home. I looked up at her bedroom, seeing the dim light perfectly from where I was. The room was empty.

I sighed, before finally climbing up to her bedroom, and almost losing control. It smelled so_ wonderful _now that she was just in the same room. The whole room reeked of her mouth-watering scent. I could tell she'd spent a lot of time here.

I laid the bouquet on the small vanity she had. It looked unused…or rather misused; like she didn't want to use it.

I inhaled deeply, before catching myself and blowing the air out of my lungs. I tried to regulate my breathing, so I wouldn't lose control and destroy her.

I heard footsteps, and jumped out the window, before catching myself on the side, glad that her window faced the forest, for it would look extremely strange to see a boy hanging from her windowsill at night.

She walked in then, completely wet, and completely naked, except for a towel wrapped around her. I felt my eyes bugging out of their sockets, as I took in her curves with lust clouding my vision.

I tried to look away. I swear I did. But then she went to her wardrobe and pulled out her night robe, dropping her towel and pulling the robe over her head.

Any thoughts I had of leaving before, completely left me now, as I then lost my grip from the windowsill and fell to the ground below with an -oomph-.

And then I didn't even bother getting back up. I felt so foul, for spying on her like that. I really wasn't the right…man…for her. She deserved someone who respected her.

_But you _do _respect her_. My mind resounded. _You just had a moment of weakness._

_Then why am I still thinking of her naked body_? I yelled at myself inside my mind. I tried to flush the images away, but all I could see was her.

_But she needs you too_, my mind said. _You need to stay with her._

_How could you know that? _I thought angrily. _For all I know she's so scared, she could be trying not to anger me to the point of killing her._

_But she isn't. She really loves you! Watch her as she sleeps. You'll see._

I stopped battling with myself and crawled back up to her window, pulling myself in gracefully before sitting in the stool in the corner.

And she was just so pure as she slept…so innocently. Which I'd just now ruined a few moments ago.

I stole a part of her innocence. Yet… I still couldn't bring myself to regret it. I couldn't deny the satisfaction I'd felt in knowing that I was the only man to see her in that way.

_But not for long_, the voice inside my head hissed. _If you don't change her, someday she'll meet someone else, and she'll fall in love. And then you'll be all alone again._

_So? _I thought. _If_ _my loneliness is the price to pay for her happiness, I'll gladly pay it._

_Even if it means there would be another man touching her in the way that you dream of touching her?_

I hissed in anger. No one but me should be able to touch my angel! But that was just it. She was an angel. She didn't deserve a demon like me drooling at her heels, lusting after her love, body and blood.

I felt really stupid. How did I even really know that she loved me? How did I know she was just trying to keep me from killing her?

She probably thinks I'm some kind of freak! That I'm the scum of the earth!

Hell, _I_ think I'm the scum of the earth.

"Edward?" she whispered, and I froze, thinking I'd been caught. Then she said my name again before rolling over on her bed and pulling the blanket more tightly around her, while signing contentedly.

I wanted to kiss her again.

But I couldn't. Just because she'd been dreaming about me didn't mean she loved me.

"I love you…" she sighed.

I froze again. I was beginning to hope. I couldn't do that. Not yet.

I tried to think of something that would stop the hope that was growing at an alarming pace.

How did I know she loved _me? _She could be sighing about someone else she loved. Someone she loved more than me. Someone she'd met while I'd been gone.

Well, that thought worked. The hope sizzled out, while jealousy reared up, engulfing all previous happiness.

It worked a little too well. Now instead of the pain I feared I would receive if it turned out she didn't love me after having hoped, I feared the pain that threatened to destroy me if she loved someone else. The pain I felt now.

"I love you, Edward." She sighed.

I resisted the urges to stick out my tongue at her and the opposite urge to kiss her.

I looked down, then. Trying to burn a whole through the ground with my glare, down to the fiery pits of hell as I whisper-yelled, "Oh, you're just showing off now, aren't you?!" Almost as if to scorn the devil for making my ultimate heaven—my Bella—also become my personal hell.

Why, oh why did she have to smell so enticing? Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why did she have to be so perfect while I could only be the worst creature in existence for her?

I chanced crawling into bed with her. I was afraid she would wake up if I touched her, so I kept my distance, avoiding her.

But somehow, getting lost in thought, while her dreams caused her to toss and turn; somehow, we'd ending up so that she was laying in my arms, facing away from me, while I had my arms tightly wrapped around her waist.

* * *

I have recently fallen in love with Jack's Mannequin. (Not but a half hour ago, actually.)

And, um, sorry for my freak out last chapter.

If you read the last 5 or 6 posts in my blog (link on my profile) you'll get most of it. The rest of it is, as mentioned before, too personal for the web.

And, um, like I said, you might want to read my poems on my fiction press account, too. Just because a couple of them feel right for the current occasion.

And what I meant by not wanting things to change:

I've already gotten over the fact that he's going to die.

I already know my mom will die eventually.

I just REALLY don't want to be an orphan before I'm 18. That would suck.

And that's what I'm looking at what could happen now. It's a possibility.

Anyway, what I meant was that I don't want a Dad. I don't want him to pop back up and ask me how I'm doing, while simultaneously trying to push his way in. I want to forget him. That's what I meant by not wanting things to change.

I'm happy with just being with my Mom.

And that's why I feel like such a terrible person.

And I am STILL writing with a huge guilt trip! ARGH! This is so aggravating!


	11. Kiss

**_This story will be renamed:_**

**P ****a ****r ****a ****d ****o ****x**

**_Summary:_** I know what you're thinking. Vampire? That's absurd. That alone is a Paradox. But together, we made our own. Girl, boy. Living, dead. Warm, cold. Oh, and not to mention the fact that he happens to be a duke while I'm just a commoner…and a human. BxEd

Okay, so first, I changed the Title and Summary. This used to be known as The Gown.

The plot is still the same. The original plot was that they were in 1670's. He's a Duke, she's a commoner.

But as I wrote out the plot line, I found it easier to just keep the new plot, and change the name of the story and summary. I found that it made a BAD au story that wassupposed to be filledwith drama, scandal, and symbolism, but made a good... whatever it is now.

Now, they're still in the 1674, it just isn't as centered on the whole duke/commoner scandal thing.

For those who don't know, a Paradox is:

1)A statement, proposition, or situation that seems to be absurd or contradictory, but in fact is or may be true. (Or in other words, something that sounds crazy, but it's true, or could be true. Like my little brother actually being smart.)

2)A statement or proposition that contradicts itself. (Like an Oxymoron; I.e. Real Live Ghost. Jumbo shrimp. Military intelligence, ect.)

3) Something contrary to popular belief: something that is contrary to or conflicts with conventional or common opinion. (Like people who talk themselves. Contrary to popular belief, they aren't crazy.)

I'm focusing on the fact that they together are physical opposites, and that it should be impossible for them to be together, but every time fate pulls them apart, they get pushed back together by the same force.

Oh, and here's a good example of a paradox:

The below statement is false.The above statement is true.

Haha… Mull that over until you get a headache, lol.

**_Disclaimer:_ **Contrary to popular belief… -Laughs hysterically- I do NOT own Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse.

This chapter is mostly fluff. You could probably take this chapter and put it in any story, lol.

But if you did, I'd have to kill you, lol. Because I wrote it myself.

* * *

**Paradox:**

**-Chapter Eleven-**

**_Kiss_**

**_EPOV_**

She woke with a start.

I'd never been so content in my life. Just holding her warm, soft body to mine… it felt so… scandalous, yet, so right.

If she'd woken up before that, I wouldn't have noticed. I just felt so warm and complete for once in so long…

She was so warm…

But suddenly she jerked up, squeaking in surprise.

I almost cried out in the loss of the feel of her warm skin against mine.

Instead, I settled for catching her when she almost fell of her bed, and then hugging her to me again.

"Good morning." I whispered in her ear, before kissing her earlobe.

I knew that by moral standards; if her mother were to see what she was doing, and who she was with, it would be complete ignominy.

But I didn't care.

I was surprised by how little social standards meant when one was immortal.

I only wanted my Bella.

**_BPOV:_**

I kept my eyes closed. I felt very…happy…for some strange reason that I couldn't remember.

And I felt very…cold. Oddly. Usually summer mornings in England were hot, and wet; very uncomfortable.

But I felt cold. And comfortable. Very comfortable.

I didn't mind.

I decided that I very much liked this feeling.

Then I heard it, soft in my ear. A light buzzing sound, almost. Or a hum.

It wasn't an unpleasant sound, mind you. It was a very nice sound. Comforting.

I realized that it sounded like… a purr. Like a kitten… And then there was a relaxing, cool, steady breath falling on the side of my jaw.

Around this time, as I reveled in the feel of his cold breath and pondered what the sound was, I realized that someone was softly stroking my arm.

And that I was pressed against someone. Rather comfortably.

Around this time, I realized I wasn't alone.

I squeaked in surprise as I jumped up, startled.

Just as I fell over the edge, just before I hit the floor, his cold arms wrapped around my waist, catching me. He pulled me up and held me tight to his chest, as I relaxed, realizing it was Edward.

I knew exactly what would happen if my mother were to find someone holding me like this, without even her knowing. She would denounce me as her child. She already hated me. I didn't need to give her any help.

But somehow, I didn't care. I felt like Edward would always be there for me. I could always rely on Edward to be there for me no matter what happened. So I didn't worry. I didn't care.

I just snuggled into his chest deeper, sighing, and then taking in a deep breath of his amazing scent.

"Good morning." He whispered into my ear, kissing my earlobe and making me shiver in delight.

"Indeed." I whispered. I could feel his silent chuckles shaking my bed.

**_EPOV:_**

The day flew by in a blur of love. We mostly just talked. I told her what I knew about myself… I told her about my cravings. I told her about my fears. My fears for her.

I told her how much I loved her. Constantly. I constantly told her how much I loved her.

I probably wouldn't have pushed it, but after having… seen her like that last night…. I had to kiss her. I just had to. I was so afraid that I would lose control if I tried. I was so, so afraid. But I just had to.

We were lying on her bed together. We weren't saying anything. I wondered what she was thinking. After the sun had gone down, and she'd closed her eyes, I leaned over so that I was directly above her, but so that she couldn't feel me or sense me on top of her.

I felt so… strange. That the only thing I could think about was how beautiful she was…inside and out. Even though the only images I could see in my mind were those of her body, it amazed me to know someone so beautiful and pure on the inside, was just as beautiful and pure on the outside.

So I leaned down, slowly reaching down to press my lips to her.

I didn't expect her to open her eyes, and blow out the air from her lungs in surprise.

I froze.

Fire exploded in my throat, venom flowed like a river into my mouth, encouraging me to take her now, while I had the chance. The monster within me opened its eyes, closing in on her face, pulling my gaze over to her neck, and the veins that were clearly visible through her thin pale skin.

I could feel the pulsing of her blood through her veins; I could hear her hurried breathing.

Then, I was lost.

I leaned down and licked her neck, before pressing soft kisses up and down her shoulder.

Then I pressed my lips to her neck again, opening my mouth, preparing to dig my teeth into her neck.

"E-Edward?' she asked, shakily, like couldn't get in a good enough breath to speak a clear sentence.

I snapped out of my clouded chimera, letting go of her hips that I hadn't remembered taking a hold of, jumping off of her bed; holding my arms up as if to warn her to stay away.

"Bella, I—I don't know what I was thinking… I—" I backed up slowly.

Her face held one of utter terror.

I felt a stab of pain knowing that I'd caused her fear.

"Bella… I—" I said, not wanting her to hate me, but also wanting to run back, dig my teeth into her neck, while also wanting to run away, to protect her.

"Please don't leave me…" she whispered, as I continued backing up.

That stunned me for a moment.

"Please… don't go…" she begged, her face twisting in pain.

That's when I realized that she wasn't afraid of me. She was afraid of me leaving!

I still craved her blood, but I didn't think about it as I rushed to her, crashing my lips to her, as gently as I could.

I hadn't realized that I'd wrapped my arms around her, but there she was, melting into my embrace.

I smiled in the kiss.

After that, I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I had to hold her. I had to stroke her hair, had to hold her face in my hands. Had to press my lips to hers. Had to keep my hands on her hips if they weren't on her face or tangled in her hair.

I couldn't get enough of her.

"My…" she giggled, after I'd managed to peel my lips away from hers for the hundredth time that day. "You certainly are affectionate today."

I looked at her, before getting another urge to kiss her again. So I did. I leaned down and kissed her. Again. I smiled against her lips.

I still couldn't believe I could handle kissing her.

But I could.

God, I love her more than she could ever know.

* * *

Like I said this is almost a generic chapter. It's part filler, part fluff. (And part short!) 

Don't forget: The title will change, and I won't have enough space in the summary to say The Gown.

So pay attention!


	12. Gone

Ugh, chapters twelve and thirteen were _supposed_ to be about Bella begging Edward to change her. But no matter how many times I tried to write it… I just couldn't. It was too degrading. I hate seeing someone beg another person for something like that. I mean, begging your mother for (Insert amount of money greater than $200 here) is one thing, but begging someone to (date you/run away with you/ change you) is another totally different thing.

For one, I once had someone beg me to go out with him. I vehemently refused. To me, writing about it is almost the same principle; tedious, and HIGHLY annoying.

To write it would be the equivalent of pulling my teeth out…manually.

And I tried to write it. I really did. But every time I did, the writers' block would kick in… and it would just get worse… and worse… and I thought 'What if I skipped it, and maybe fit in a flash back here and there? It would be much more tasteful if done right, and could add some extra elegance into your story where it could definitely use some.' Truth be told, I think my plot line was getting a little dry, and it killed me because I knew how exciting it would be to write later, but I couldn't get to the later part, because I was stuck on the boring, stupid parts.

So then I thought about when I edit my poems. One time I was talking to my friend, and she was reading one of my poems. I told her how much I hated the fourth stanza. So she said 'Then why did you write it?'. And then it hit me: If you don't like a certain part of something; get rid of it! YOU'RE the author (Well, I am, lol.) so YOU'RE in control!

So, I decided to scrap the writers' block provoking chapters, and skip ahead, while trying to find some way to make it sound tasteful.

This is my formal apology: I apologize if any part of my plot becomes confusing, or drab.

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not—

Hm, that's strange. Someone just knocked on my door.

-Stephenie Meyer walks in, hands me a giant book-sized packet that says 'RIGHTS', begins shaking my hand, and congratulates me on winning the raffle on the rights.-

"Um, when did I enter?" I asked her, dumbfounded. She shrugs, still shaking my hand energetically.

"It doesn't matter!" she says, suddenly throwing her arms into the air, smiling widely. "Whatever the reason, the world is yours now to do whatever you want with it! YOU own the rights to TWILIGHT!"

-Happy energetic band music comes on, while a random group of people come out of nowhere, throw me atop their shoulders and start chanting my name-

"VALERIE! VALERIE! VALERIE! VALERIE!"

"Non-sense!" I shout gleefully at them. "I own the rights now! Call me Steph!" They ignore me however, and continue chanting my name.

Suddenly my head jolts up off of my laptop keyboard, because someone just whapped me upside the head with a pillow.

"Valerie! Valerie! Valerie!" My mother scolds.

"What…?" I asked, groggily, still not completely awake yet.

"I had to wake you up; you were drooling on your laptop. This ought to teach you not to stay up past 3am writing on your laptop, young lady. Now, go downstairs and do the dishes!"

"But MAH…!" I whine.

"Now, or no fanfiction writing for a week!"

"MAH!" I cry, desperate.

"Not another word!"

-I thump downstairs, before poofing out of my **_disclaiming_** fantasy-

There, see. That's a d**_isclaimer_** gone wrong, lol.

So um…yeah, I do NOT own the rights.

* * *

**Paradox  
****-Chapter Twelve-  
****_Gone_**

**_EPOV:_**

I sunk my teeth into the lion, churning in the ecstasy of its blood coating my throat, and soothing the dry, aching burn that I'd been batting since I'd been turned; reveling in the rich, sweet taste. Were I still human, I'd compare it to wine… The finest wine the world had to offer. I didn't think about how it had been a fortnight since the last time I'd hunted; since I'd gone to Bella. I didn't think about anything. But the instinct pulsed through me. I was a hunter…and this was my prey.

The scream hit me, just as I dropped the body to my feet.

I recognized that voice anywhere. Even now, as it was twisted with terror.

For a minute, I thought I might have felt my heart pounding in my chest, threatening to beat its way out of my body. I didn't think; I just took off towards her shriek.

There were no conscious thoughts of 'I have to save her' or 'Oh no!' There was absolutely nothing; just the sheer terror that threatened to destroy me if I didn't reach her in time.

I raced towards where I heard her scream. It wasn't far. Not more than a mile away. I sped faster and faster…gaining speed, as I grew closer and closer.

Then I burst into a gap between the trees and saw it—her. A woman. A vampire. She held Bella's face, one hand jutting her cheeks forward, making it appear as if she were pursing her lips; the other hand gripping her arm tightly.

"Stay back," she hissed "Or I'll kill her now!"

I grudgingly took a step back. "Who are you?" I asked, desperate.

"I am with the Volturi. We want her. You will not try to stop me, or you shall suffer the consequences." She said, still in a hiss. I had no idea what the Volturi was, but I didn't care. I just wanted my Bella.

"Please… let her go. Take me." I offered. She shook her head.

"I've been watching her for some time." She jeered. My mind instantly flashed back to the day I first met Bella in the forest, when I heard the laughing. When I was sure there was someone else watching us before I met Bella, and had forgotten all about it.

"She knows too much." She continued, smugly. "We have to kill her." Bella then began to struggle even more, squeaking in terror, her eyes depicting complete and utter horror.

"No!" I yelled. "You have no right!"

That seemed to stop her for a minute. "No right?" she spat, angry. "We have every right! This _is_ our right!"

She stopped for a minute, as if listening to some message, before nodding once, turning her heel and running off into the tree coverage.

I immediately took off after her, but as I ran, dodging the trees, I heard the same laugh I heard all those months ago, and then everything froze.

I couldn't move. Birds overhead were frozen in flight; leaves on the trees were frozen in the wind. Wind was frozen as it brushed through the air. I was frozen, unable to move, before I heard her echoing laugh again, and fell to the ground, able to move again.

I immediately ran forward, seeking out my Bella's scent, but it was gone.

"No," I whispered, searching more frantically, turning around, and sniffing at the air even more desperately.

"No!" I yelled, running even faster, inhaling as deeply as I could, and not being able to smell anything but the oaky scent of the trees, and the wet dirt on the ground.

"NO!" I yelled, dropping to my knees and pounding my fists into the dirt, angry at myself for letting her get away.

This was my entire fault. If I'd just stayed away before… She wouldn't have gotten entangled into my life, and she'd be safe and sound.

I must have searched the entire forest for her, any trace of her. But she was gone. I couldn't find anything.

She was gone.

* * *

I know, technically, this chapter was only about 700 words long. The other half was my authors' note, lol. 

I'm 70 percent sure that the next chapter will be much… like, 2-3k words. If not that one, then the one after.

I still have to explain what the hell she was doing in the forest.

And why they took her.

And how he gets her back.

And you should know… This isn't a very key point in the story compared to some of the other parts. It's more of the turning point; the main domino that knocks over the others. The match that lit the bomb, ect.

Oh, and I have this thing I wrote called 100 ways to get writers' block. I'll post it after the epilogue, lol.

And I'm also working on a half essasy/ half list thing called 'How to write a DECENT Twilight Fanfiction.' It's basically identifies all of the things that bug the hell out of me: Fangs, Bella getting pregnant, grammar, misinformation...ect.

I'm giving serious thought to posting it here, lol.


	13. Recount

**_Disclaimer:_** All recognizable characters are Stephanie Meyer's.

* * *

**Paradox  
_-Chatper Fourteen-  
_Recount**

**_Bella:_**

I couldn't think….my eyelids dropped in exhaustion. I tried to remember where I was, but my mind wasn't connecting the dots of where I was, and how I got here.

I tried to think of what'd happened yesterday.

_"Edward?" _

_"Yes?"_

_We were lying together on my bed. We were comfortable. We were happy. We were lost in our thoughts of each other as he held me close to him, and I sucked in as much of his scent as I could._

_"When do you have to…..go?" I was uncertain, I didn't know if he wanted to talk about this._

_"Go? I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you again." He said, his voice certain, filled with determination._

_"No….I meant, Go. Hunt." I whispered, afraid of making him angry._

_"Oh." He sighed._

_He didn't say anything for a minute, but eventually relaxed his tensed jaw, and resumed stroking my hair. I snuggled into his chest, deeper, trying to convey that I__ wasn't going anywhere unless he wanted me gone._

_He took in a deep ragged breath, before finally speaking. "I need to go tonight." He sighed._

_I looked at him, surprised. "So soon?"_

_He nodded his head solemnly. "You…I'm not used to…I…" He tried to frame a coherent sentence. _

_"I make you….hungry?" I tried._

_He nodded his head again. Still sadly._

_I tried to push myself away from him a little, to give him space, but he pulled me back. "No," he said, his voice quick, and I detected a hint of desperation in it.__ I snuggled deeper into his chest, and he tighte__ne__d his grip around my waist._

_"Is this hard for you?" I asked him._

_"Immensely." He replied, simply. I tried to pull away again, but again, he tightened his grip. "But worth it."_

_He kissed the top of my head, as if to prove a point._

_I fell asleep like that. He held me, humming something soft in my ear, whispering something in a language I didn't understand. But he sounded so beautiful, I fell asleep before I had the chance to ask him what he was saying._

_I woke up a few hours later. I'm not sure what woke me up. It could have been a bad dream I'd forgotten as soon as I woke, but when I woke, he was gone._

_I know he promised that he'd never leave me again, but I still panicked. I was certain that he realized just how worthless I am._

_I began hyperventilating, before finally calming __myself down. _He'd only gone hunting…only hunting. He'd be back before sunrise. He'd come back. He promised.

_I'm still not sure what made me decide to go to our little nook in the forest, but somehow, I decided I needed to go._

_And I did. I made sure my mother was asleep, before finally going out into the forest, heading to out into the darkness. Th__e moon was full however,__ setting everything aglow. _

_I stumbled many times, somehow managing to not spill any blood. And when I reached there I sighed contently. The moon was exactly overhead through the clearing of trees__ and I stared at it longingly._

_I reached my arm out, pretending to grab it in my tiny hands._

_Then I heard it. A laugh._

_It sounded familiar somehow. The laugh got louder, and I froze trying to figure out where it was coming from._

_Something shot out from behind me, and grabbed my arm. I screamed, shocked._

_Another hand shot out and grabbed my mouth._

_"Shhh…." She mocked, stepping in front of me. "You wouldn't want to scare your lover."_

_I was terrified. The woman in front of me looked wild, catlike, and yet she held an air of importance, like she knew she was superior._

_Oh, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she was superior. I just wasn't sure whether or not this would cost me my Edward._

_What was I thinking? Going out into the forest like that, alone? _

_The woman took a moment to take me in. "Hm." She__ said. "You're very plain for a human__." She inhaled deeply. "But you smell…wonderful. I wonder how angry Aro would be if I just took you for myself."_

_She paused for a minute, as if thinking it over, before shuddering, and shaking her head. "What a shame, though."_

_She cupped one hand on my cheeks, jutting my lips forward. "I'm still not sure what Aro wants with you, though. You don't seem very special at all. Rathe__r—"_

_She didn't finish her sentence however, because someone came barreling through the trees, too fast for me to recognize, until he came to a stop and I almost sighed in relief._

_"Stay back!" the woman yelled, tightening her grip on my arm, "Or I'll kill her now!"_

_Edward took a shaky step back. "Who _are_ you?"_

_"I am with the Volturi. We want her. You will not try to stop me, or you shall suffer the consequences."__ I was confused, but Edward seemed even more so._

_"Please…take me instead." He choked out. I became frantic, trying not to let him do that, but there was nothing I could do. Her arm grip on my arm was so tight, that I couldn't move an inch. Her hand on my face was too tight for me to shake my head no._

_But I didn't have to. The woman shook her head no, "I've been watching her for some time." She smirked, tauntingly. "She knows too much." I could see Edward stiffen. "We have to kill her."_

_Her words shouldn't have surprised me, but somehow the shock of having her say her intentions out loud was enough to bring me back to what was going on._

_"NO!" He roared. "You have no right!" _

_"No right?" __s__he hissed, angry. "We have every right! This _is _our right!"_

_Edward looked at me, then. Staring into my eyes. He looked so terrified. I could tell he was trying to send me some sort of message. I tried to receive his message, but the woman suddenly turned to run away._

_If I was terrified before, it was nothing compared to how I'd felt now. I was afraid my blood would boil. I tried to scream in terror, but she kept the firm hold on my mouth._

_Then she laughed. I felt as though I'd been taken into space. I felt as though someone was pressing at me from all sides, but it didn't hurt._

_I felt my brain begin to cloud. I was getting sleepy._

_There was no light. So I wasn't sure where I was, though I had the distinct feeling that I wouldn't know, even if I could see._

_And then, my eye lids became too heavy, and I fell asleep._

I was awake long enough to recount this memory , before my eye-lids became too heavy again, and I lost consciousness.

**_Edward:_**

I'm not quite sure how long I sat there, sulking.

At least, that's what most people would call it. I would call it dying on the inside.

She was gone.

I'd never felt so hopeless before in my life.

I wasn't sure what there was I could do now.

I wasn't sure of anything.

I wasn't sure where she was. I wasn't sure who had taken her.

God, for all I know, they could have killed her by now!

The thought made me feel so absolutely angry, that I wasn't even sure how to react.

I was too numb to kick over trees.

I didn't know where she was.

I don't know who took her.

I don't even know where to begin.

I'd never felt more useless before in my life.

Now, she was probably going to die, and it'd be my entire fault.

I just killed God's most perfect angel. If I wasn't going to hell before, I'm definitely going to rot and suffer for this one.

If I had just left her alone, as I should have, none of this would have happened.

She'd be at home, and safe. She wouldn't have to worry about vampires that want to kill her, and lovers who can't even make love to her.

"Get up."

I jumped up, suddenly, unprepared for the sound. I spun around angrily; did he have to do with this? I would kill him! I would kill him for even daring to take my Bella away from me!

"Follow me." he said, simply. His calmness made me angry. His dark black hair seemed dull in the shade of the trees.

"Where is she?!" I demanded.

He remained silent.

"I said, WHERE IS SHE?!" But, still he refused to say anything.

His silence made me angrier then I'd ever thought to be possible, I lunged at him, but he was too fast for me. He easily moved out of my path, allowing me to smash into a tree painlessly, before reaching over, grabbing my arm, and twisting it around.

I screamed in agony, the pain so harsh, as I felt and heard the snapping of my bones.

"You will come with me or the girl dies." He said in a monotone voice.

I was silent after that. I waited patiently for my arm to mend, as I followed him, refusing to give any signs of weakness.

On the inside, though, I was frantic. What if they'd already killed her? I cringed, and the red-eyed fiend smirked.

Finally, after my arm had completely healed, he grabbed my arm and whispered "Don't move."

He whispered something in a different language, and the light was sucked from the forest. There was nothing to see, even with my sharp eye-sight.

Then…I was falling. My muscles tensed for impact, as if I were falling from a great height, but there was no height. There was no floor. There was no sky from which to fall. There was nothing.

Then, all at once it stopped. I was not falling, so there was no impact.

There was, simply put, nothing.

Nothing at all.

I began to feel calm. Like someone had clouded my mind.

Like there was no hurry.

But I could feel myself trying to worry, because there _was_ reason to worry. Bella is in danger! I need to save her.

But at the same time, my mind refused to let me go anywhere. I couldn't move. I was too…tired to move.

I was too _calm_ to move.

I wouldn't be able to blink, if I had to.

Then, the calm was lifted. There was light.

I was stunned for a moment, the light was so blinding compared to when there was no light at all.

But then my mind sped up to me. It screamed in agony, afraid for Bella. That they might have already gotten to her.

And I was just _standing here?_ What the hell is wrong with me?

I screamed out in agony—in anger. How could they dare to do this to me? How long had I been out of my mind?

What if they'd hurt her? I wouldn't be able to live with myself it they'd hurt her.

I spun around furiously, searching for the black haired man, but I couldn't see him. Instead I was in some kind of chamber.

I smashed my fist into the metal of the wall, but hardly made a dent.

I looked up. There were candles lighting the room.

I was prepared to charge into the wall, but I heard someone approaching. Her mind made her sound young.

Her thoughts were malicious, filled with hate. They made me feel bitter, but I was already anxious as it was. I tried to push her thoughts from my mind, but it wasn't working.

Finally, she opened the door, and I saw that she was just a child; eleven or twelve years old. I wondered what kind of a sick bastard would change someone so young, but I was too distracted to really care.

She nodded at me, and I understood that I needed to follow her.

She led me around the maze of castle, leading me this way and that. She didn't make a sound, but her thoughts were screaming venom. They made me want to cringe.

Finally, she led me into a big room with high vaulted ceilings. The second the door had opened, I knew Bella was here. I was hopeful, very hopeful. It didn't smell as though her blood had been spilt. Perhaps they hadn't killed her?

I wish I _had _run away with her as she'd asked me to. Then maybe we could have prevented this.

_"Edward?" she asked, laying a soft kiss on my chest, where my heart would be. The warmth of her lips sent ripples across my chest, down my arms and legs, and up through my face. I shivered, when they left. I sighed happily, hugging her__ closer__ to me, again. "Yes?" I sighed softly in response._

_She lay her head on my chest instead, the warmth now even more prominent. "Run away with me, my love." Her tone was happy, playful. "We'll run off, to the Americas, and we'll live happily ever after." Her fingers played with the strings that tightened the top of my peasant shirt. I never thought I'd ever wear one, but it didn't matter__ now__ whether I was poor or rich. I was the richest man on the Earth if I had Bella. She loosened the strings a little, and her fingers brushed against my skin. I sighed happily, again. _

_"We'll run off to the Americas, and we'll live happily, just you and I, for the rest of our lives." I reached over and kissed to top of her head. She nestled into my chest a little more, and I almost fell asleep. I felt so…..perfect with her here. _

_"Yes,__ my__ Darling__." I whispered in her hair. "I'll never be without you."_

_She fell asleep like that. __Lying__ against my chest. It was very comforting. I wanted to kiss her again, but the kisses were more pleasurable when she was kissing me back. So I settled for kissing the t__op of her head again, and again, and again._

_I __ran my hands through her hair, reveling at how impossibly soft it was. It was like silk. Not even my mother had hair as wonderful as Bella's. It was messy, but not tangled. It felt soft against my face as I leaned down to kiss her forehead, and hair._

_She slept soundly, that night. She whispered some incoherent phrases of love, here and there. She whispered that she wanted to live in a cottage somewhere by a river. She sighed that she wanted to leave this place, with me, and never return._

_And I agreed with her, but I could never take her away to live with just me. What should happen if I lost control? There would be no one after me…no reason to stop myself. But the thought of taking her to live me somewhere else, where we could freely be together…_

_I sighed happily at the thought._

Why didn't I just leave with her? If I had, maybe now she'd be safe.

Oh…my Bella. My beautiful, beautiful, Bella.

* * *

I know what you're probably thinking…It took you that long to write _that?_

Well, the plot line for 'Sinfully Sweet' is at about 14 chapters, right now. And it's still not half way done.

The other thing is, is that 'Sinfully Sweet' has to be very neatly organized. There's a distinct theme to it, and it has to be precise. It's like doing math, almost. I need to make sure everything is in order, and I have to make sure there's enough of that theme everywhere. That's why I really didn't want to continue writing this until I finished planning that. I was afraid that I might dig myself into some kind of hole, and have to go back and fix everything.

Although, now I'm confident enough that I have enough of it planned out to avoid that particular situation. That….and I didn't want you to think I die. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Even though I don't think it was very good. This and the next few are going to be a little hard for me to write, because they're very emotional. I might be little miss psychologist (And how does that make you _feel_…) but that doesn't make it much easier.

And yes, you all (probably) know just how much of an irony junkie I am. Like just about every other long term thing I'd ever written….it's chock-full of irony. Beautiful, beautiful irony.

So _please _be patient for me, you guys. You are all wonderful, truly.


	14. Qualude

Okay, so maybe I won't be updating as often as I thought. This year was pretty crazy. I tried to get everyone something _nice…_and, well…you all know me and time. I didn't realize there were only four days until Christmas. In the end, though, everything worked out. I got my Mom this really nice Genuine Tanzanite ring, with a white gold band. And then I put it in a cylinder box, with a soda can in it. I told her it was a candle. xD

It wasn't a candle. xDDD

And I'm still doing my friend's gift, as we speak, even though it's REALLY late.

Part of this chapter was written while I was still depressed…sorry about that.

_**Disclaimer:**_ All recognizable characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**_Paradox_**

**-Chapter Fifteen-**

**Q ****u ****a ****l ****u ****d ****e**

**_Bella:_**

I vaguely recall being awake. Or was I awake?

Had I died?

I wasn't quite sure. What did it feel like to die?

So am I dead? Where is the bright light? Is there supposed to be a bright light? Or were they wrong? Where is heaven? Am I going to hell?

My mind skimmed over these questions. Though I might have panicked, I didn't _feel_ it.

I was floating. I was comfortable. I was happy, even. I was just….alone. Floating. Comfortably by myself. There was no sun, or moon or earth. There was no one else. I was happy within myself.

I didn't have hands, or arms, or legs. I didn't think I had a body.

I was just….floating. And I was comfortable. Almost as if everything was soft, but there was nothing to feel it with. Just as though I knew it was soft anyway, and was happy that it was.

And I had no eyes, so there was nothing for me to see. I couldn't see.

But it wasn't worth seeing.

And everything was comfortable, until suddenly everything was red.

And it hurt. I didn't have a body to feel the pain with, but I _knew_ that it was painful, and it hurt.

Everything was so violently red, and I couldn't see it, but it crept up closer to me, and suddenly I could _feel_ it! And this pain was so much worse that the pain of just _knowing_ it was painful!

It was creeping up on me, like fire! Burning, raging fire!

Someone was burning me! Why? What had I done to deserve this? I'm not a witch! I'm not evil!

The fire roared over my head, consuming me.

And as the pain approached me, I felt my body coming back. I was no longer floating, I was crashing.

I was crashing, and I was burning. I was dying. I was certain I was dying if I was not already dead.

I was not aware of my surroundings, but I became aware of my ears. And then I became aware of screaming.

I did not realize that it was my screaming, until I was aware of my mouth.

And I couldn't stop. I pleaded for mercy, begging for redemption from hell, pleading to know what I'd done to deserve this.

The pain only grew harsher, as I became more aware of myself. I could feel it from the heels of my feet to the tip of my nose. The fire grew, until it was so large, that I felt I must be ash.

But I was not ash. I could feel every excruciatingly painful moment.

I tried to scream for it to stop, tried to beg for the pain to stop, but my ears couldn't comprehend what I was yelling.

**Edward:**

I knew it was unfair for me to hate someone so thoroughly, but it was as if her venom spread from her mind to mine. I _hated_ her. She was the personification of rotten.

She entered my room, and I wondered if they would stop taunting me, and finally let me have my Bella.

It was a mistake to attack.

I suffered for _four days_. Four days of the agony of hearing my angel scream as though she was being tortured. But she was being tortured. I understood the pain she was in, and I couldn't help her. I couldn't even hold her hand. They restrained me, when I managed to break from chambers. For four days, I screamed, begging them to let me to her.

I could hear her laugh, though, the little one…Jane.

When I whimpered in the pain, when Bella screamed louder than she had before, I would cry out in equal pain, and she would laugh.

I would snarl, and work harder to break from my chamber.

If I hadn't attacked, none of this would have happened.

They brought me to a room, and spent a few minutes taunting me, chatting idly, pleasantly. They calmly and jovially told me that I'd broken the rules. They told me what they did to rules breakers, with smiles on their faces. They told me that the only option was to change her, or to kill her.

I realized that I would not be strong enough to do it myself. I realized that I was trapped like a rat, because I was an idiot. I _had_ to go back to her. I couldn't be strong and go on without her.

One of them, smiled and tossed out that there was no guarantee that she would survive the transformation. To torture me, he licked his lips a little. In his mind, he wondered how wonderful it would be to taste her blood on his lips….to _slip up_ and _accidentally_ kill her.

I snapped. I lunged at him, ripping and clawing at his face, screaming that he would not dare touch her. A whole fleet of guards ran at me, each trying to get a piece of me.

There was mass chaos. Soon, everyone had joined, punching, fighting, kicking, clawing, pulling, screaming…

There was a shout, for us to stop, but it fell upon deaf ears.

Then, there was a shriek. The shriek of my angel. I smelt the blood and was instantly pulled to attention.

I froze, as did everyone else. She was in the arm of the Snowy haired one, the disgustingly old looking one. She had begun clawing at her neck, whimpering loudly.

I bolted to her, trying to fight the call of her blood, knowing that her pain was infinitely more important. I had to comfort her…I had to hold her.

Several guards lunged for me, catching me and pulling me down while I wrestled trying to get away, screaming that they let me to my angel.

They pulled me away from the room, throwing me into a chamber, locking the door.

But nothing could keep away her screaming…..for four agonizingly long days, I suffered.

And now, the rotten little girl stood in my doorway. She smirked.

She knew I wouldn't try to attack her. I'd already gotten a firsthand experience of what she would do if I tried to attack her.

"Let me see her." It came out as some hybrid of question, demand and statement.

She laughed a little innocent giggle. "I cannot."

"Let me see her," I repeated.

"She's gone." She giggled, anxiously awaiting my reaction.

"What do you mean, _gone_?"

"She's not here. She left." Her smirk made me ache to jump at her, claw at her face…cause her as much pain as she caused me.

"Liar!" I cried, angry.

"No, not a lie. She left with Felix. I knew the little whore wouldn't stay with _you_ when she could have her pick with a _real_ man from the Volturi."

My world went black.

* * *

That was a metaphor. He didn't pass out. You'll understand in the next chapter. 

I'm sorry for cutting it so short. This chapter was immensely difficult to write. I must have rewritten it thirteen times. And I'm still not happy with it. It's about as good as it gets for this. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

If you guys know me, you know I like angst and drama. That's what this is all about. It's so hard for me to just write fluff. For me, a fanfiction usually loses interest as soon as they become Bedward.


	15. Scream

* * *

I found my goldfish floating at the top of his bowl this morning. Apparently he died as I was falling asleep, and then spent the night rotting away in his bowl. I'm afraid that my second one might have been...poisoned…by his rotting corpse. 

The irony? His name was Edward. The bowl was absolutely disgusting, so my Mom and I had to put Bella in a temporary container while we cleaned out the fish bowl, but I'm afraid that she's going into watershock, from the change in temperature…and I can't believe it. Why did he die? I took fabulous care of him.

Life sucks. Blows. Inhales. Exhales.

_**Disclaimer:**_ All recognizable characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

_**Paradox**_

**-Chapter Sixteen-**

**S c r e a m **

_**Edward:**_

I cannot say for sure what I did.

I can remember the burning pain, as though someone had lit fire to me again, so I can assume I attacked the rotten brat.

I can assume I stormed the entire castle, trying to find her. Jane was always just a few seconds behind, with her evil little laugh piercing my ears.

I can assume that I went on a rampage when I didn't find her. I remember screaming…people trying to restrain me.

And when I never found her, I was forced to face the truth.

I couldn't imagine why they didn't kill me. I wish they would. Perhaps they were punishing me for trying to attack the evil child.

It didn't matter, though. Nothing mattered. I was an idiot.

It's not like I couldn't have seen this coming. I should have seen this coming. I was right that first time in the forest. She's a woman. They break hearts. But I loved her anyway. I trusted her completely. I expected her to love me as much as I loved her. I thought she did.

But I guess I'm just not as much of a man as she deserves. The thought shouldn't have burned as much as it did. It was definitely true. I never deserved her. Ever. She deserved someone better than me.

Maybe it would have been better if I never went back for her. Then I could at least assume she still loved me. Maybe she would have loved me if she remained human. Perhaps I could have dazzled her into loving me…staying with me…

I burned with shame for a moment. So is that the man I've become? Take what I want?

But I couldn't deny that I didn't want her. More than anything. I was insanely in love with her. Still, even. I will always be in love with her.

The evil child was always close, always feeding my brain her thoughts. That I didn't deserve her. That even if she came back, I'd never be able to hold onto her.

I wondered when she'd grow tired of torturing me.

_**Bella**_

When the pain stopped, it was all at once. It was as though I had a heavy weight pressing on me from all sides, and then it just eased up. I took in a deep breath…

…and opened my eyes. I could see...everything...I was blinded!

And it was bright. Insanely bright. Too bright.

I wrenched my eyes shut, whimpering. There was an ache at the base of my throat. I cleared my throat, trying to dispel the feeling, but it only intensified. I whimpered again.

"You'll get used to it," a cold voice bit through the silence.

My eyes opened again, searching for the source of the voice.

He was huge. Frighteningly huge; I found myself shrinking away from him unconsciously. He was beautiful, I supposed, but not as beautiful as my Edward. At the thought of Edward, my mind began to race. Where is he? Is he okay? Does he know where I am?

"Edward," I whimpered. "Where is my Edward?"

The huge man scoffed. "That is unimportant. What _is _important is that you're here."

He took a step toward me, and I gently inched back. "Oh, no you don't." he said, gripping me around the waist, standing me up. "My dear, you belong to me now."

His words sent me into a panic of desperation. I squirmed, trying to wriggle from his grasp, but he just laughed and held me tighter. "Let—go—" I grunted out, but he just held tighter.

"You aren't going anywhere," He whispered in my ear. "You are mine, and mine only."

He pressed his vile lips to mine, and my empty stomach churned. I wriggled even harder, desperate to get away from him, but it wasn't any good.

His hand came up, to brush along my cheek, as he finally released my lips, and I screamed in agitation, biting him. I heard a satisfying crush as he cried out in pain.

He released me, dropping me to the floor and I realized that I'd bitten his finger off. I spat it onto the ground, glaring at him, as instinct pushed me to crouch in an attacking position.

"You little _bitch!" _He snarled at me, and I snarled back. I was absolutely feral.

He glared at me, snatching the lone finger off of the floor, and turning to leave the room.

"You are mine, and you _will _obey me."

* * *

Not so great, I know. I'm really trying, though. I'll try to update some more. The next two or three chapters are going to be sort of slow, I guess. And after that is when things will get more exciting. 

Yikes. All time low for the last chapter. I think I got about 90 views. I guess I've kind of hurt my reputation with the author's notes, and then never updating. I'm really sorry for that, by the way.

Reviews keep me running. They make me happy, and push me to make you happy, so you'll write more.

* * *


	16. Good Tidings

There's really no excuse as to why I haven't updated in so long. Well, there is an excuse, actually. But I'm not here to apologize.

Anyway, I've realized that School for me is like a giant writers' block.

And my last day of school was yesterday.

I now have aproximately two months of uninterupted, obligation-free _time._

Well, almost uninterupted. My friend from Florida is coming to stay for about a month.

But the point is, I'm going to try to finish Paradox (And its sequel.) by the end of the summer.

This also, unfortunately, means that I probably won't be able to write anything prolonged (Like a series.) outside of long weekends, school vacations and such like that.

So I just thought I'd give you all proof that I haven't died.

-Val


	17. Start Over

I feel kind of stupid. The problem is probably that in the last year that I haven't updated, my writing style has changed. For one, I'm sort of unhappy with how I've written the past chapters. They all sort of suck. I did no justice to the 17th century. xP

And, I'm not used to writing in the first person anymore. So, I have a few options. I can rewrite and start over, or I can give up on this.

I'll probably end up rewriting it, but it'll take me a while. Sorry, everyone. I might not start for a long time, but I will...eventually.


	18. Renouncement

Given some of the flames I received, I decided to edit this Author's Note.

I'm renouncing my Twilight Fandom for several reasons.

The first being that everyone has noticed the quality of her books taking a massive downward spiral. I think to her, it's becoming like trying to squeeze water out of a rock.

I'm not going to pretend I didn't like Twilight and New Moon, but enough is enough. I'm not going to say I didn't like Breaking Dawn, but if I was being honest with myself, I'd have to say I enjoyed laughing it it much more than I enjoyed reading it.

The second reason is that Stephenie Meyer's book got leaked all over the internet, and now she's whining and crying, "Oh, I cannot go on!"

As if it's never happened before. Seth MacFarlane was pissed when The Family Guy Movie had a massive leak a few days before it was released, but he didn't just pull the plug and cry, "You hurt me so badly! I can never give out my manuscript to you random shady-looking people if you're all just going to leak it!"

Frankly, it's her fault for giving it out in the first place.

I also feel like there's a pretty good chance that she leaked it herself. She said that her first impulse was to not continue, and then she assured everyone that it was only on hold, but that's a lie. She put the draft on her website for everyone to read. As long as it's there, she can't publish it because it would violate her copyright. She knows this. That was the reason she couldn't post the first chapter of Breaking Dawn on her website.

To me, that shows that she has no intent at all to publish it for as long as it's on her website. And even if she did still intend to publish it, she wouldn't have kept the book on her website so everyone could continue reading it. She would have taken it off in the hopes of keeping things from getting any worse.

She says, "But to end the confusion, I've decided to make the draft available here after _Midnight Sun_ page). This way, my readers don't have to feel they have to make a sacrifice to stay honest."

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but you can't find the leak anymore. Every single leak has been eliminated. If she didn't want her readers to read it, all she would have to do is keep it off of her site. Her readers wouldn't have to sacrifice anything because they wouldn't get the chance to see it.

On top of that, she's directing the Jack's Mannequin video...when did this happen? Did anyone see what they had to say about this? "No, there won't be any vampires, but there might be some mermaids."

_How are they letting her _do _this?!_ Has she brainwashed them or something?

I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I'd love to hear what you have to say.

-Val (Insanity's Partner)


End file.
